The Shitty Parking Thread (I'll take 'Things that will cause Broome to stroke-out for 200. Alex')

We've all seen it. Post up some of your local talent.

I'll start...

Double down; this was earlier today in front of our local Yamaha/Aprilia/KTM dealership.




This was earlier in the week at my neighborhood grocery store. WILDTOY goes big.

 

In for the duration.

 

Wildtoy is a rank amateur.

Some flaming douche at the bar today put the nose of his Lexus at the very corner of the space delineation, next to my truck. Admittedly, my truck takes up two spaces due to overall length, but at 22' long I was still straight in the spot (and parked where I did to be away from the brainless douchecanoes). This twatastic cunt managed to find me and park in such a manner that I had to either do a stickboy impression to get into the truck or smash the fuck out of his wheel well with my door...

 

God darn it Mr. Pickled Egg, you use your tongue purtier than a twenty dollar whore.

 

I have a coworker who is a repeat offender. I have addressed it with her. She continues to offend.

I will tell her I'm going to start photographing her antics. Perhaps that will curb her behavior...

What kills me is that this is an otherwise delightful, capable, and highly intelligent young lady.

 

How does the edge of your door look?

 

...I live in IL and work in IA, there simply isn't enough bandwidth for the shit parking jobs I see on a weekly.

About half the time at the last place I worked I had to get in my truck on the passenger side...

 

The awesome thing about driving an old lifted Jeep is when people do the crooked / hug the line park job to keep others from parking next to their pride and joy. One time I was running a bit late and trying to find a parking spot at the airport and some fucktard had parked his shiny new Tesla about a foot over the line to keep people from parking next to him. Fortunately the Jeep is narrow so I could utilize the spot but there is zero chance Toasterdriver was able to get in to his car from the drivers side. There was less than 2 inches room. I laugh every time I think of some old dickwad in a suit trying to wedge his fat ass over the center console to get in the drivers seat...

 

There's only one door on my van that I can unlock manually, and the guy next to me parked so close that I couldn't open the door enough to fit in (and I'm only 140lbs). So I got my buddies to help me pick up the ass of his car and drag it out of the way.

 

I took a picture of the Ford GT that some douchenozzle parked across TWO handicapped spaces at the grocery store, but unfortunately it was on my old phone and is now lost forever.

 

Here's what pisses me off...

I generally park out in bumfuck anywhere I go because I love truck and don't want it dinged. I'm not a dick about it. Still only take up one spot, just away from all the tards. Then inevitably someone still parks next to me every so often. Grrrr...

 

I just noticed today that my drivers door has a little chip in it, indicating to me that some cock bag parked next to me and their shit for brains passenger smacked their door into mine when getting out. I swear, you can't even park next to anyone the general public is so thoroughly retarded these days.

 

I do the same. I mean, I park completely away from anyone to avoid dings and without fail someone will park next to me. Pisses me off everytime.

 

I hate those people who have no concept of where their parking space is. Most nights I go out to my short little Jeep to find a cheap ass Nissan pulled up into my parking space bumper to bumper with my Jeep. I have driven small sports cars most of my life and learned to park them with the back bumper towards the outer edge of the parking space so my car can be seen in the space. I do the same with my Jeep. What the bitch in the Nissan doesn't realize is I will cry if she hits my steel bumper, but it's going to tear her shit up worst.

 

<Must remember to occasionally park close to cars in spots further away....>

 

In front of a CVS

 

I'll have to snap some pics at Vanderbilt Hospital. Some of the lousiest parking I've ever seen. Often it's by a handicapped space and the gargantuan can usually be seen trying to wriggle out between the steering wheel and the mostly-reclined front seat, which is in terrible need of new upholstery. The headliner is usually a dangling mess as well. I've witnessed more than once the occupant spilling out of the vehicle onto the deck, causing tremors which set off nearby car alarms.

 

I'll admit it, back in high school I used to look for "you" in any parking lot just to park a few inches off your door with my shitbox. Yes ... it was a dick move. But I'm an asshole and it made me giggle. Now that I have a nice car as an adult, I use those lessons and just park my shit wherever. Someone is gonna get ya eventually.

 

Fuck this guy. You can't really tell but that Sentra is set back pretty far. This dick is taking up 4 spots.

 

If i was in a bad mood i would probably key mr 4 spots...