suck it samuel jackson, i have one IN MY TOILET

So... You're post-op now?

I didn't know.

 

PETA is going to show up and protest your inhuman treatment of the squatter punk toilet snake. Squatter punk toilet snakes have rights too!

Could be worse I guess. Amnesty International could take up squatter punk toilet snake’s cause. They got pussy riot freed (couldn’t help them get any musical talent though).

 

Operation is not a requirement to identify as a dolphin.

 

Start with 10?

 

Can anyone confirm (or refute) using that picture of its scales that this is, for sure, just a rat snake? I think the odds of her showing back up in the toilet are pretty low but if she does, the "grab the fucker and yank" approach does sound like it'd be the most successful. But "yanking my pee snake" is not how I wanna die.

 

Just when I thought Dave K was starting to lose his touch, he goes and formulates some sheer brilliance like this. Well done sir.

 

h

Even if it's venomous, surely some local joint has the antivenom to any local varieties of venomous critters. What's the worst that could happen?

 

.. you mean beyond "excruciating pain, potentially-permanent systemic nerve damage and the very real possibility of death"?

 

If it were a rattlesnake, would you be able to hear it rattling underwater?



(My job is done now!)

 

Well it can't be any riskier than riding Daytona backwards...

 

Well, it could be a rattle snake that identified as as a rat snake . . Tucked and taped it’s rattler down and is doing the buffalo bill dance.

or maybe he identifies as a testicle and is waiting for you to sit down so he can kill you and make a testicle suit from your ball bags.

 

Maybe he just wants to make a scrotum bag for his mom's hatchday present.

 

maybe it's a ball python

 

Brutal

 

I don't think he is actually trying to evict the snake. He likes the way the tongue tickles his test tickles.

 

What you could do is leave him there and never tell anyone he’s there but paint him yellow. Why yellow? So he looks like a giant banana of course.
Then you wait.

one of your buddies goes in to the bathroom (hopefully after many beers), drops his pants and squares up on the toilet and plops down. The toilet banana will eventually get pissed off (after getting pissed on) and bites your buddy on the bean bags!
“Hey! A big banana bit me on the ball bags! Call 9-1-1!!!”
“Are your bean bags swelling? I read that if they swell, the snake is poisonous!”
I guarantee he will think they are.

“hello emergency services? We have an emergency! My buddy got bit on the bean bags by a big banana and now his bean bags are big!!!”

$50 says the 911 operator bust out laughing and that’d be worth all the effort since those people work hard, it’s a stressful job and need a laugh now and again.

if it’s just a non poisonous rat snake like you think, your buddy will eventually laugh at it also.

 

That was cold as fuck.

 

DaveK ... 20+ years, and still going strong!