Posted some furniture on CL (and other places) as we are selling our home of 24 years. Here is a series from one of the responses: Helen Moore <[email protected]> 10:43 AM (2 hours ago) to 36pf7-66267452. I'm interested in buying your product posted on craigslist, Do forward your reply to my email at [email protected] Bob Dickey <[email protected]> 11:36 AM (1 hour ago) to hellenmoore003 Yes mam. Helen Moore 12:10 PM (1 hour ago) to me Thanks for your response, I'm really interested in the furniture and i wish to buy it to my new moving house. I won't be able to come for the pick up because am in the coaching camp at the moment but I've gotten an agent from the moving company that will handle the pick up for me. I'm okay with the price and i intend to pay you through PayPal because is the only form of payment i can use now. Let me have your PayPal email address so that i can proceed with the payment and the pick up. I hope the furniture it's still in good condition? Bob Dickey <[email protected]> 12:14 PM (1 hour ago) to Helen Sorry, all the fish died so I have nothing left.
See now I would have created a fucked up email on ya who just to mess with that person. I hate freaking thieves
Send him this: I can no longer sell you the furniture because my house was invaded by what appears to be a few hundred capuchin monkies and they have claimed the house and all furnishings as their party house. I say it appears to be a few hundred because I can't tell one of those f@ckers from another and they keep moving so I have been unable to count them. Who'd have thought monkies were smart enough to claim squatters rights? Gawd damn, them's some smart ass monkies. Or they have a good lawyer. Anyways, it seems they may have had a meth fueled capuchin three hole bone-a-thon monkey orgy and everything is covered with what I can only think is capuchin jizz. The furniture is now free but I will not load it or even touch it. If you want it, come get it. Feel free to take a few dozen capuchin monkeys with you. They seem to like Newports and olde english malt liquor but I'd avoid giving them any meth unless you also want to be covered in capuchin monkey jizz.
If he replies about the now free furniture. and where did a few hundred capuchin monkies come from? I think it's from this guy, who I think is an amateur astronaut since he is always wearing a yellow jumpsuit and a gas mask) has a capuchin monkey rescue but he claims the monkeys in my house aren't his because they don't look like his but how would he know if they look like his since all those f@ckin' monkeys look the same? By the way is it monkies, monkeys or monkees. I don't think it's monkees because that was the way they spelled that band that influenced the beatles back in the 60s. Except that davey jones dude did look like a capuchin monkey. and if you see my riding mower and the trailer when you're picking up your furniture can you bring 'em back to the house? about 20 or 30 capuchin monkeys (they kept moving so I was unable to count them) road off on it and the last it was seen was by that weird woman with the droopy eye who works at the packie when the capuchin monkeys were in buying newports and olde english. Just the mower and trailer, leave the monkeys where ever they are, they can take Uber home.
New boy: Justin Huffins 3:32 PM (1 hour ago) to me Hi, My name is Justin. Am very interested, please send more general close up pictures because I won't be able come inspect it due to work location. I am currently working at a local area with Turner Const. which makes it very hard for me to make phone calls due to bad network reception. As for payment, I can only make the payment through PayPal if acceptable which I believe is the most secured for online transactions. I will send a freight agent for pickup at your preferred location once payment is confirmed and cleared. I have few questions; Where do you live? What is your final asking price ? Does it have anything negative i should know about? Email back to know if my offer is accepted so that we can proceed, I hope to hear from you soon. So, I sent him Dave-to-the-K's answer: I can no longer sell you the furniture because my house was invaded by what appears to be a few hundred capuchin monkies and they have claimed the house and all furnishings as their party house. I say it appears to be a few hundred because I can't tell one of those f@ckers from another and they keep moving so I have been unable to count them. Who'd have thought monkies were smart enough to claim squatters rights? Gawd damn, them's some smart ass monkies. Or they have a good lawyer. Anyways, it seems they may have had a meth fueled capuchin three hole bone-a-thon monkey orgy and everything is covered with what I can only think is capuchin jizz. The furniture is now free but I will not load it or even touch it. If you want it, come get it. Feel free to take a few dozen capuchin monkeys with you. They seem to like Newports and olde english malt liquor but I'd avoid giving them any meth unless you also want to be covered in capuchin monkey jizz.
If he comes back and you use the second one, let me know if you need a third? I'll figure out a third reply expanding upon how the capuchin monkeys really seem to like the band squirrel nut zippers and the bloodhound gang but if you hear Slayer playing, chances are the vans a'rockin so don't come a'knockin.
Sometimes, I wonder what brand of high sugar content cereal DaveK eats in the morning and how many chocolate & marshmallow pop tarts goes along with them.... Monkey jizz and Newports, FFS!....
I always us the location and contact information of the nearest FBI internet crime division for pick up
They loaded it all up on my stolen trailer. Willow Park PD wants to know where all the monkey poo on the streets came from...