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My friend is getting admitted today for Bone Marrow transplant, any advice for me.

Discussion in 'General' started by L8RSK8R, Jan 9, 2020.

  1. L8RSK8R

    L8RSK8R Well-Known Member

    He'll be in the hospital/resort (Jacobs Center, La Jolla) for at least a month.
    Once he's dismissed, I'll be living with him for easily 3 to 6 months.
    Cooking, making sure he bathes, eats, walks etc.

    I've never done anything like this before.

    Just wanna make sure I do the right thing by him.

    I've been with him for all his chemo treatment and the info the Doc's told me is very overwhelming.
    I know I can call them anytime I need assistance.

    Maybe you've gone thru this process and can gimme some advise etc.

    I have 24 hour access to his floor/room at the Jacobs Center.

    It's kinda overwhelming for me right now.

    Any insight or good advise is greatly appreciated.

    Thank you!

    Ciaran
     
    pjdoran, BigBird, SpeedyE and 4 others like this.
  2. Venom51

    Venom51 John Deere Equipment Expert - Not really

    Our neighbor went through this last year. He had to be isolated on a floor of the house and the only one allowed in was his wife after she took a shower and put on sterile clothing for 3 full months if I recall. It's going to be a big task and you two must be pretty damn good friends. Good on you for stepping up to such a large task.

    Now go to another thread and point out how senseless it is to bothered by the fact that the utility company messed up some grass in your yard.
     
  3. sharkattack

    sharkattack Rescued pets over people. All day, every day

    Damn, I don’t have much to add other than you’re a great friend for doing this for him. Im sure he appreciates it.
     
    j cal, KneeDragger_c69 and R Acree like this.
  4. In Your Corner

    In Your Corner Dungeonesque Crab AI Version

    You already have the most necessary skill, the will to be there for him.
    The rest will fall into place.

    Good on you for stepping up, most don't.
     
    sheepofblue, K51000 and L8RSK8R like this.
  5. SuddenBraking

    SuddenBraking The Iron Price

    Good on you, sir.
     
  6. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    Advice to you? Keep being kick ass and keep on kicking ass! You're hardcore and your friend is skankin' the pit like a pimp. :up:
     
  7. beac83

    beac83 "My safeword is bananna"

    Thank you for doing this. It's a huge commitment.

    I don't have much to offer, except be kind (to both yourself and him) when you both are frustrated and at the ends of your individual ropes. He doesn't want to be stuck in the house, and you will get tired of the care taking now and then as well.

    If it gets to you - seek help. You need to take care of yourself as much as you take care of your buddy. The goal is for both of you to come out the other side healthy (mentally and physically) - and hopefully still friends.

    If you can line up some relief help to take over a weekend every couple of weeks, that will help a lot. Even better if you have some regular relief a day or a few days a week.

    I hope you have some trusted friends you can vent to now and then who will support you whenever you need to call them.

    Hugs.
     
    BigBird, Razr, HPPT and 4 others like this.
  8. COOP 1

    COOP 1 Well-Known Member

    + 1
     
  9. ChemGuy

    ChemGuy Harden The F%@# Up!

    Hookers and blow may not seem appropriate but it’s never inappropriate. Just wait till after he’s feeling better.

    And you get double for being awesome.
     
    BigBird and track wagon like this.
  10. Big T

    Big T Well-Known Member

    Work out
    He'll probably need some help walking and such when he gets released

    The only thing worse than him falling down is you grabbing on to him and falling on top of him
     
    Razr likes this.
  11. R Acree

    R Acree Banned

    Arrange for someone to spell you for a shift or two a week. Trust me, we did hospice care on my mom and even a few hours helped us get through and for you to be of value to him, you need to be in a good frame of mind. You are a damned fine friend. Prayers for your endurance and his healing.
     
    Razr and beac83 like this.
  12. Jedb

    Jedb Professional Novice :-)

    I would schedule yourself at least 1 day off per week. Even if it's an evening and the following morning.
    You will need to recharge yourself.

    Good for you for helping him!
     
    Razr likes this.
  13. First of all the worlds a better place with people like you in it, tip of the hat to you. I have a fiend that went through it a bit over a year ago and it wasn’t easy for him or the people around him. Not trying to be Debbie downer but you are in for a lot of work, which being with him as much as you have you already know that. One word of advice as said above, arrange some time for yourself after the first 7-10 days. Maybe mix up the schedule so that it’s not “ every Friday” type of thing, keep a routine for the health stuff obviously but minx up other things as much as you can to break things up as it WILL feel like a job after a while. As much as you care for and love your buddy it will become that way if you don’t. It’s nothing personal against him the job will be against the disease but you know what I mean.
    if you want I can send you my buddies number, he will be back in the country (well Canada) end of next week (think that’s what he said). He’s in Asia so 12 hr time difference right not.
     
  14. Raceless man

    Raceless man Well-Known Member

    My mother in-law went through that. You sir have shouldered a heavy burden and people like you are few and far between.
    I imagine it's different for every person but it was tough on her. I have no advice for you just wanted to say thank you for helping your friend. Btw, her BMT was 19 years ago. Your effort can be monumental.
    Peace
     
  15. pjzocc

    pjzocc Well-Known Member

    As all have said, much respect to you for doing this for him.

    Make sure your immunizations are up to date - flu shot, TDAP, even shingles if you're over 50. Keep yourself in good working order.
     
    beac83 and R Acree like this.
  16. Triple X

    Triple X Well-Known Member

    I’ll add how awesome you are too.
    World needs more like you.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  17. motion

    motion Nihilistic Member

    Damn dude, your friend must have some really serious dirt on you :)

    JK... as others have said, you are an amazing friend and he is lucky to have you in his life. Best of luck moving forward.
     
  18. dantheman

    dantheman Yeah, it hurt.....

    Bravo sir, you are a good man Charlie Brown
     
  19. JBraun

    JBraun Well-Known Member

    That’s a bro move right there. I hope if I ever found myself on the losing end of the cancer lottery, my friends would step up like you did. Well done.
     
  20. gonriding

    gonriding Well-Known Member

    My mom went through this and had someone like you to help her. Without him, she would not have made it.
    Don’t be afraid to reach out when you need a break!
     

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