Married? Wife send you to buy wimmin product?

So my family and i are running errands Sunday and i have to stop by the drugstore. As one of my daughters and i are getting out of the car, my wife says "will you buy me some tampons?" Now, we have been married 11 years and i have NEVER had to do this. I look at her and say "you've got to be kidding....you're here, you go get them" she says "c'mon baby, i don't feel good" o.k. So myself and one of my 9 yr old daughters walk in. I don't even know where this shit is in the store, so my daughter leeds me to them. I look around...there are soooo many choices. And i'm in a fuckin hurry. I see a box of 30 "Super" tampons. I'm thinking super is good. I buy them.
Now, i'm not *very* stupid, i'm quite sure they are not the right ones. I'm all about teaching lessons so.....i get in the car, chunk the bag on the floor, throw it in reverse and leave. We get half way up the road and the wife opens the bag. "Damnit Derek! You bought the wrong kind!" "WTF!! They're tampons! What do you want?" "They are SUPER!! Are you trying to tell me something?? I use regular! Sonofabitch, just turn around and take them back!"
I turn around pull up to the store with a shit eating grin and stay put. She flings the door open, cussing under her breathe and takes them back. She gets back in the car and see's me grinning. "You're enjoying this shit are'nt you?" "I have no idea what you are talking about....." "O.k. i will never ask you to do that again"
Mission accomplished.

 

Yes I've bought them.

She took a photo of the ones she uses and sent it to me. I told the girl at the checkout counter that they were for sopping up holes in my boat.

When I got home I called my wife the old boat for about an hour. She didn't get it.

I still chuckle about it.

 

Never any feminine products, but my wife sent me to the grocery store the other week just to get a couple of items. I came back with what was on the list but also a bunch of crap that we don't need. She shook her head and said "I'm never sending you to the store again!" I just smiled and walked away...

 

i bet she thought she was the clever one.

 

Wait until you have to explain why you are buying 3 x 30 packs of pads. It's hard to make someone believe your dog drips urine and these go in his diaper.

 

I've gotten pretty used to buying tampons. I just make sure to verify the specifics everytime I'm sent on the 'pon run.

Now, sorta related. On those occasions that I go to the grocery store with the wife, I like to pick up odd products and throw them in the cart while she's not looking. I do this in hopes of embarrassing her at the check out line (make sure they are pulled prior to being scanned so you or she doesn't actually pay for them.) Some of my favorites are:

Extra strength douches and "feminine wash"
Gerri Curl
KY Jelly
A box of Depends at the bottom of the cart.


Try it... it's good fun.

 

Back in the 60s NASA used those to temporarily patch holes in the liquid oxygen lines that fueled the rockets. Said you could dip one in water, slap it on the hose and "presto, instant patch". Probably couldn't get away with that today.

Next time tell them you have a leaking LOX line, wink and walk out.

 

Done it more times than I would care to talk about (since I do all of the shopping). You just have to do a fast run down that isle and make a quick grab! I just go for the variety pack since I really don't want to stand there trying to find the crap she needs.

Plus, I really only use the self check-out so there are no awkward moments between the 17yr old cashier and myself.

 

This^^
Buuut...accidentally kept the ky. The warming kind. DON'T put that back!!

 

what are you gonna do when she reverses it on you?

douches and feminine wash - "honey, i really dont men are supposed to use this..."
Depends - "Honey, i thought you wore smalls, not mediums..."
KY Jelly - "Why do you always buy lube to use with your boyfriend but not me?"

just saying

 

I would never ask my husband to buy such . . . I just seems wrong . . . besides, I do all the shopping in our househould.

However, super vs regular isn't that big a deal . . . so I don't know why she threw the little fit??

 

I make sure I know exactly which ones she uses in advance. Been through the exchange process before, and I think that's worse since you're there twice buying the pads.

 

I bought the sister-in-law that hates me a gigantic box of them at Costco once as a Christmas present since she's always on the rag.

 

For me, the worst is getting the call or text to buy such things AFTER I've already checked out. It's bad enough I have to buy them but it really SUCKS if I have to go back in "just" to buy some rags!

 

you get cooler with every post

 

Memorial Day. Mother-in-law wants to ride with me to our local ceremony. Anna is not feeling well.

MIL tells me her rat terrier got into it with a skunk. She tried the tomato juice rinse. Didn't work. Asks me what I use.

Massengill . Works every time.

She says all she has is Summer's Eve.

I suddenly realize I am discussing douches with my MIL.

I turned on the radio...

 

Mrs. Dits- "Hey honey, where'd all the KY warming jelly go?"

Me- "I think it evaporates if the cap's not on tight."

 

I dont have a problem buying anything, hell I even ask for help if I cant find it.

 

BAM!!!!!

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