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Hey man, slow down and think.

Discussion in 'General' started by Dave K, Apr 3, 2020.

  1. Jed

    Jed mellifluous

    Coming out of a facility can be scary as hell. They release you into the world just as you get comfortable in the inpatient world. That's by design and usually a ramped process. Compulsive suicide is often impossible to treat. Life is simply pain, nightmares, anhedonia, bad memories, misery, a lack of seeing anything positive in the future. Getting your mind to change from that perspective is very hard and has to be something you want for yourself. Nobody should feel guilty if the therapy didn't work. He felt the choice he made was better than the life he was living.

    Having intentionally OD'd spent some time in the ER, then acute care, and then a 3 month residential inpatient stint I can say that I have an appreciation of what life is like when it's bad and all you want to do is make the pain go away. At some level it is a personal decision that needs to be respected as bad as that sounds.

    I am sorry for the loss of your friend, but please don't feel guilty.
     
    sdg and The Todd like this.
  2. zamboiv

    zamboiv Well-Known Member

    Yep, lost a fellow racer that knew he needed help, we tried it all but in the end he was content to lose everything ending with his life. Someone found him dead under a bench by the beach across the street from
    His boat he ended up living on when everything else was taken from him. Sad, I missed the guy a lot, hell we would ride to the races together and we’re really close. Could never get him to put the bottle down and it killed him.

    The anger may or may not go away but over time I’ve accepted it, and remember the good times we had.
     
  3. HPPT

    HPPT !!!

    I think an important step to let go of the anger is to realize that it's not about you. They didn't do this to hurt you (in most cases). They just badly needed that relief. However much you may be hurting when you think about the event, they were hurting more.

    Anyway, enough grown-up stuff from me. Back to slamming that money whore JoT in the other thread.
     
    sdg and R Acree like this.
  4. Dave Wolfe

    Dave Wolfe I know nuttin!

    The 25 yr old me would not have been a damn bit of help to anyone suffering like that. Myself feeling mentally strong as nails I would have been a dismissive "suck it up pussy" type of guy. I couldnt relate to the folks who dropped out of my engineering school because of stress.

    Now that im bit older and have had a bit of mentally hard times.. now I can relate. Now I can empathize. Now im in a position to help.

    Dont kick yourself if you are the 25 yr old me. You just dont know when you dont know
     
    sdg likes this.
  5. Sprinky

    Sprinky Well-Known Member

    Sorry Scotty, that fucking sucks. I have no clue on the exact situation, but hopefully the law that was just signed, due to a lot of work that you guys did, may help someone else in the future...RIP SAM RFB
     
    Scotty87 likes this.
  6. Scotty87

    Scotty87 Lacks accountability

    Yeah it was a fucking insane day. I was at the signing of that bill, then rode around the rest of the day, just had this awesome day with buddies. And then out of nowhere at 9 at night I’m calling the sheriffs and his family. Fucking surreal.
     
  7. sdg

    sdg *

    Bump for mental health and shit.
     
    DucatiBomber and SuddenBraking like this.
  8. Christopher Graybosch

    Christopher Graybosch Well-Known Member

    Phone works both ways. You may just save someone’s life. Many times we all get caught up in our daily that we forget to reach out. Someone may need the call in because they don’t know how to call out
     
    sdg likes this.
  9. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    I took my foot off the gas on this thread but SDG reminded me that we can't with mental health.

    Thanks man, I'm hard on the gas again and we have no brakes! All or nothing!
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2021
    sdg likes this.
  10. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    Here's a not so gentle reminder. September 5 through the 11th is suicide prevention week. Shouldn't need a week to help out but I'll take what I can get. :)

    You have friends, you have family, you have a way out and things WILL get better if you need help.

    1-800-273-8255

    Or call me. :)
     
  11. eggfooyoung

    eggfooyoung You no eat more!

    I'm available too. I can and will give anyone a million reasons to stick around. The pain doesn't stop with suicide. Its merely transferred to those who love you most. I promise.
    231778979_10158283819558085_2362625426557182028_n.jpg
     
  12. motoboy

    motoboy Well-Known Member

    Thanks for bumping this thread. I needed to to talk because I found out in a very scary way that it's not just adults and teens struggling. It is happening to much younger people.

    Talk to your kids. They have huge stresses that we may not remember from our childhoods. Their stress is just as real, but they have even less ability to cope than we do.

    I am reluctant to share. My 8 y.o. is ideating and it's breaking my heart. She is such a sweet and smart kid. I can't go into details. And I don't even know what to say or do or think.

    I don't know. We have her in therapy, but she won't open up. And I don't know how to wind up this post.
     
  13. elvee

    elvee Well-Known Member

    Just say what you need to say. We're all hear to listen.
     
    motoboy likes this.
  14. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    and I'm not hear to judge or talk "down" to people or whatever, just let's talk? I've fought some past issues, fighting through present issues and I know there will be future issues. I'll be here so should you fighting the fight and looking damn good. :)

    Wanna see a magic trick?
     
  15. pfhenry

    pfhenry Well-Known Member

    If its of any value I remeber vividly when my dad died at 9ys old... I felt like a grown up all of a sudden. Boys and girls are different i know but i think its worth noting even 1 event can change the mind of a child that young. Every event seemed more present and meaningless for a while... until I cried it out with my advanced elementary teachers months later in 3rd grade.

    Glad ur doing the therapy route helped me a bunch in my early 20s... Finding the right therapist is vital to opening up to them honestly and whole heartedly (takes a few in my case)
     
  16. SuddenBraking

    SuddenBraking The Iron Price

    I've got an 8 year old daughter who'd love to have a pen pal if that helps. If interested, PM me for my number - even if not, happy to just hop on a call and listen for a while if that'd be any help to you......
     
  17. redtailracing

    redtailracing gone tuna fishin'

    I have been trying to help someone very close to me recently and have become intimately aware of how difficult it is to find a therapist right now. Between covid and all the other craziness in the world these days, a lot more people are struggling right now. Therapists are overburdened and most are not accepting new patients. We called no less than 2 dozen trying to find someone for him. None answered initially. Only 6 called back. 3 were to say they aren't accepting new patients. 2 of the others are not in network for his insurance. The last one doesn't have an opening until the end of October.

    I say this to make everyone aware that reaching out is probably even more critical than it's been in a long time. The resources simply aren't available right now. If nothing else, just offer to listen. I think simply letting someone know you care enough to just let them vent and be an open ear goes a long way. The simple task of just trying to find a therapist can be immensely draining and difficult for someone who is struggling and it's obvious that the struggle of doing this right now just compounds issues and makes everything even worse for them.
     
  18. pickled egg

    pickled egg Tell me more

    Feel free to PM me for contact info. I may have some ideas and strategies you may find helpful in helping you and your daughter break through this.
     
  19. motoboy

    motoboy Well-Known Member

    Thank you. I will ask her.
     
    SuddenBraking likes this.
  20. motoboy

    motoboy Well-Known Member

    Thanks. Will do after work.
     

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