Elliptical winning

So I start my evening steady-state cardio workout and im on the elliptical machine. I am only about 15min into it (I always do an hour in the evenings) and this college age dude comes up and gets on the one beside me. I see him look at my timer, no big deal. Then he looks over again at which level i am on (7) and i see him then take his to 7, then he looks at me.

So now im thinking "its on bitch, you dont want to challenge me".

I take mine up to 8.
He takes his up to 8.

Then we keep going. An hour passes (im on an hour and 15min) and i can tell he is starting to fatigue. I am 15min longer than I originally wanted to go, but there is no way in hell I am going to stop before he does. So we keep going.

I am at 1hr 45min and he is sweating his ass off and his pace has slowed some, but he is still going and he keeps looking over and my screen and at me. By this point i have decided that I will stay on this damn elliptical machine until World War 7, but there is no way I am letting this asshole win. The only way I will stop first is if I fall over dead.

So i reach 2 hours on my timer and i look over at him and he is struggling. He hasnt stopped, but his head is hanging down, mouth wide open and suffering. He looks over at me and I havent slowed down at all. He looks up at me like "WTF dude?".

Then as he is looking at me, I look him right in the eyes with a dead serious face. I stare at him for about 10 seconds, then without taking my eyes off of him I reach up using my peripheral vision and turn mine up to Level 10 and start speeding up.

He stops, climbs down and under his breath I hear him say "asshole" as he walks off trying to somehow limp on both feet.

I might be an asshole. But I won.

 

Do you bring a case of water with you for these marathons?

 

I did have a bottle of water and at about 1hr 15min i had to piss like a Russian racehorse. But there was no damn way I was going to stop. I had decided that I would piss all over myself before I climbed off of that machine.

I kept pedaling while he walked out of the gym because I didnt want him to see me stop, then as soon as the door closed behind him I was haul assing to the pisser.

 

This is Best Of shit. You've done it again, freak.

 

Show us your trophy.

 

Might? You really think there is any question? I use what you do as an example all of the time to show my wife how much worse I could be...

 

The only thing missing from this is Ric Flair "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO"...

 

Lord,

Thank You for the never ending source of amusement that is Broome.

 

It is ok. Because I won.

 

So, what you're saying is that you've been sandbagging?

 

Micro-agression at its finest. Well done.

 

I forwarded the story to my brother. His response: "is he mentally sound?"

 

"Why did you almost kill yourself on the bike Chris?" "Because fuck him."

 

But most importantly, you told him I won right? That is all that matters.

 

EXACTLY! haha

I might be a little sore in the morning and I am sure he will be too. But he will be sore as hell while also having to deal with the fact that he lost.

 

More importantly; were your number of strides even, or did one leg get forward one more time than the other?

 

I don't even know how you do that, I'm beat after 20min on that machine. I think this qualifies as you won the gym.

 

In the evenings yeah. I get up about 3am and do Insanity, then lift weights around lunch. Then in the evenings i will do an hour of lower impact/intensity steady-state cardio. I alternate betweenthe elliptical machine, the stationary bike and the treadmill.

I dont get sore from it, it isnt hard enough. I just do it to keep my metabolism up around the clock and for my heart and lungs. It isnt really a workout. I just dont like the idea of not doing anything at night. When i skip that evening workout i feel like a slackass.

 

What rpm were you at? Like 60-70 or upper 80's-90's

 

#threadofthemonth

Regardless of how much you exaggerated the story.