any advice? words of wisdom?

Ok, so I don't post much, but I'm here a lot. The beeb is a wonderful distraction, and a great hang out.

I recently am in the divorce column after a lengthy downhill slide and trial separation......

I know all the "it gets better with time", etc. Just basically trolling for reasurrance and such. Words of wisdom from the great and powerful Beeb as it were.




*disclaimer - I've been havin' a few beverages and feel like posting. Sorry. My apologies.

**edit - guess I'm just looking for sympathetic voices who've been there too.

 

Doood, I called you tonight. You know you have friends any time you need them.

 

didn't get the call. Sorry bud. Thanks for looking out. Hit ya up tomorrow.

 

Been there... sucks for a while but on a good note my 2nd is gonna let me race again!!!!

Head up dude!!!!

 

Women... Cant live with'em... Cant Kill'em.

Just do what i did after my quasi-engagement hit the shit-- womanize for the next 3 years.

 

I haven't actually been divorced, but I was in a long term relationship that ended badly after almost 9 years (most of which wasn't all that great either) and it really is true...it gets better with time.

Everybody deals with stuff in different ways, but I would suggest picking something that you love to do and getting more involved with it. If it's racing, you don't have to race more...do some corner working, or see about helping WERA out at the track maybe. Or if you can afford it...f*ck it...race more

 

It sucks but does get better.

I'm probably a rarity but I miss the relationship. I wasn't as unhappy as she was apparently. I'm easily entertained I guess.

Sometimes I like being on my own but most of the time it's boring.

 

Well, she can't take your penis and balls in any settlement, there's a bit of great news for ya'.

 

as many here know, my divorce devastated me for quite a while...best thing for me was getting out to the track to race/spectate, pit-bitch, etc. obviously everyone deals with this kind of loss differently, so you will find your own path, but reinforcing the things you like...what makes you 'you'...will help.

mourn it like a death.

lean on your friends. it's what they're there for...

 

For me it was all about the loss and the sense of failure. I have never tried so hard and failed. My motto has always been if I work harder than everyone else I will win. With my marriage it didnt work because she didnt want it to work. It really took the wind out of my sails. I lost 25lbs. I hated being at home, I hated being at work, I hated going out. Then I started going out and picking up chicks which was fun but I was in no metal shape to be dating. Next I went through the revenge phase where I slept with my Ex's friends. This was followed by the trying to get too serious to soon phase, which lead me to learning that it was ok to be alone.

 

Shortly after my divorce, which was tough, I bought a brand new CBR 100RR as a reward of sorts. It is tough, but as everybody said, talk to friends and get involved in a hobby of yours. Also, if there's anything you've always wanted to do, just do it now. You'll feel a lot better.

 

Drinking binge with smokes35!!!!!!!

I'll come check out the Sacramento scene... they have to have Vodka there.

 

At least you didn't spend $50 on a KBC.

 

Same here.

It was confusing. We didn't hate each other but she wasn't happy. The bad part is I thought she had given up so I did. She had not. I figured that out after I had gotten serious with another woman. Ouch.

Then neither worked out. Ouch again.

I don't even date now and haven't. Don't have the time, money or energy for it right now.

 

Plus it looks like she... he... it... whatever that is was "convicted" of something, so it'll be 7 to 10 before u can reunite anyways.

 

Shuddup, Dick.

 

That's the fun part....but not as satisfying as i thought it was going to be!

My divorce was a slow downhill ride...and i think we both saw the end coming. So it wasnt a suprise to either of us when i kicked her ass to the curb. It was hard at first..being alone that is. But its amazing how much good friends help. Now i couldnt be happier. I dont think i realized how unhappy i was until i was out of the situation and found out how much better it was without her.

 

I worry I'm going to 2nd guess myself and how I handled it forever...I was too late in figuring out how far gone she was, too arrogant in thinking I could fix it no matter what. fucking hindsight...

 

NOW you tell me? Damn!

 

And this ^^^^^ is why I love this place so much.


Those are all great bits of advice, or stories that I can take some comfort in. The ideas about just getting out are great too. I never even thought of corner-working. I think the racing budget may just be a tad compromised this year, so that's a clever way of participating still. Nice.

You guys just made my morning by putting a smile on my face, and laughing out loud too, as I read through these posts.


Smokes and anyone else ever passing through the greater Sac. metro area, let me know. Drinks are on me!

- yes we have Vodka here!