This was written by Terry Jones of Monty Python fame....... A letter from Terry Jones I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street. Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what. I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is. As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one. Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours. They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult. Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want! And let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The one certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us. That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way. Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq. Mr Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'. It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when you've achieved it? How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves. Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims? It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out. My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up. Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come. It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street. Terry Jones www.punkvoter.com
I really hope noone wastes his/her breath on this asshole. Oh wait, I just did... Ok then, F-off! And by the way, you're supposed to deposit your mindless drivel in the "Politics and Religion" section. So kindly F-off again, and take your crap over there. And another thing... You can't do anything to change the fact that we ARE at war at this very moment. So before you continue your whining, just remember that one of those Marines killed today could very well have been a neigbor of yours. Honor their memory and STFU!
Tell Monty Jr to go f**king live in Iraq with Saddam if he's so wonderful and get the Hell out of our country.
The amusing part is the fact that you couldn't figure out that this thread belongs on the "Politics & Religion" thread. This might have been amusing or even funny, before the start of the war...but considering this is the real deal right now, with people dying, I find it rather sad. Way to stand behind your country. Asswipe.
Just like to make a good impression......Your so sweet.....I wanna hang out on your fag board though....
No, whats really amusing is that you think dying a horrible death at the hands of pathetic oil tycoon who feels he needs to increase the size of his stable is standing up and defending your country......sorry for their deaths just as much as anyone but they made their choices....
Well I do declare! I thank you for taking time away from doing whatever it is that you do, Mr. Anonymous, to educate the dumbass WERA rednecks, myself included, of course! Wowee, I've wasted my breath on this moron twice now!
No, whats really amusing is that you think dying a horrible death at the hands of pathetic oil tycoon who feels he needs to increase the size of his stable is standing up and defending your country......sorry for their deaths just as much as anyone but they made their choices.... Buhahahahaahaha...!!! I couldn't give a shit. They're not my fellow countrymen. Although I do feel sorry for them as fellow human beings. It's called respect. Something you apperantly haven't been taught... The fact that you choose to sit on your ass and make weak jokes about the fate of your country's future, speaks of your character though. I won't wast my time on you anymore. You're a certified loser in my book.
what a statement. no, but they and americans before them payed the ultimate price for your fucking punk ass to come here and pop off like a nickelodeon special. you are an asshole hagabitch. and you are disrespecting americans. why don't you state your real name for the record, or are you the pussy i percieve you to be in real life? yep, you are.
Yeah ......hey I may be anti-war, anti-Bush...anti whatever....but at least Im not kicking the dead....a life is a life.....whether it be a dog, a bird, a cow, or even a Pollock....well maybe not a Pollock....
I'm betting your an anti-everything liberal. Why don't you just invite Saddam to come stay at your house so you can watch videotapes together of him beating, raping and torturing you. I don't see any of these anti-war countries offering him asylum in their homeland.
Invitation is open and popcorn is in the microwave.....and by the way don't insult me by lumping in some political category...
Posted by madbrad: what a statement. no, but they and americans before them payed the ultimate price for your fucking punk ass to come here and pop off like a nickelodeon special. you are an asshole hagabitch. and you are disrespecting americans. why don't you state your real name for the record, or are you the pussy i percieve you to be in real life? yep, you are The last time I remember anyone calling you ass out, you were the one that pussied out. Ten points for pulling my statment out of context though. If I have hatred for Americans...you have hatred for Polish people. We're even then. Aren't we. Asshole. Don't get your panties in a wad. I shit things bigger than you. So you opinion matters none here fag. But if you wanna keep this going I'll be more than happy to make you look like the bad-ass bitch that you are...behind your fucking keyboard. Hope you feel like the better man. Go play with yourself now. You need it...
