Ever talk to you boss shit fuck hammered

Would agree with this. I can and do drink every night. About 2 glasses of wine. Can't remember the last time I was actually really buzzed. I have zero alcoholism in my family, thankfully.

 

I was in the middle of replying to you with some sort of Hunter Thompson style timeline of a days drinking and drug abuse but as I was typing it out it got real fucking depressing.

Towards the last year or so I was drinking a half gallon of bourbon a day. This was every day of the year for multiple years.
As an addict I lied to myself about why I couldnt walk more than half a block without collapsing, why I couldn't/wouldn't eat, why I was vomiting constantly throughout the day, why I was constantly pissing and shitting my pants, why Id lost so much wait but looked like i was 7 months pregnant, why I was yellow. It was only when I went to a DR. and he told me to GTFO and go to the ER did I have to start taking responsibility.

Anyway, right now I'm sitting on my balcony drinking a coffee and watching the beautiful sun before I head into work and get paid to be around motorcycles all day long . I love my life now and no longer hate myself or anyone else.

If I could take one thing away from all of the life changing shit I've gone through over the last few years is that sometimes all it takes to save someone's life is to talk to them and let them know that they are loved and cared for.

Always here to help if anyone needs it but it seems like there are some guys and gals here that have waaaaay longer of a time in so recovery than I do so I won't pretend to be an expert on recovery but I can hopefully scare you shitless into never drinking again!

 

Important tip: you can never scare an addict out of being addicted.

You can’t shame them, you can’t cajole them, you can’t threaten them, you can’t do anything to help an addict.

The addict has to want help and be willing to accept it.

Which tells you how effective all this blather is.

 

100% true my friend. No addict will ever get clean without firstly accepting that they have a problem and that they need help.
The last thing I'm trying to do is sound morally righteous in any way, I just can't sit there idly and not tell my story in the hope that it might help just one person live a better and more fulfilling life not just for themselves but for everyone that's affected by this disease.

'there's a special place in hell for those that, when faced with great moral crisis, choose neutrality"

 

Sharing your own experiences is great, and I actually do appreciate it.

As you’ve seen if you’ve read this thread, though, those with “the problem” don’t want to be told they have “the problem” despite the obvious “cry for help” in posting up what a drunken fuckup you are, multiple times.

Eventually, you tire of the attention whoring of someone not willing to do anything more than sharing what a fuckup he is and lashing out at anyone who affirms that he’s a fuckup.

 

Were you working during that time? If so, how ???

 

I am an amazing liar and can stare you square in the eyes and tell you that the sky is green if it suits my needs that day.
I ruined a career that the majority of you guys would give your left left up for.
Getting paid to travel to every Moto America round, plus the GP's along with working with the g.p teams was always my dream.

 

Gahtdamn crack dealers right there..

Samoas is my weakness.

 

Admo, you sound like my hunting buddy, but I think you have him beat. Glad you made it .

When he relapsed after a decade of being clean he was drinking a pint of vodka at 7a.m. just to make it through his workday. He had another at noon.

When he checked himself into the hospital detox he was a .3 something....nurse asked him how he got there and he said he drove himself. She was shocked. The week before that he tried to quit at home and had a seizure.

He explained to me that once you cross into that level of addiction you actually DO function better on the sauce. You fall apart without it and some people actually get close to death. You have to be weaned off. Your brain and heart will start doing weird shit.

Glad you're here to have another day with life. Don't waste it. Sounds like you would be a good coach. My buddy still goes to AA each week and helps coach.

 

Shit, the last time I had three drinks (in about as many hours), I called an ex-girlfriend from a subway platform (Not sure what I told her, but she called later to check on me while I was lying on my bed with my shoes on.). Then I sat on the sidewalk for 5 minutes 200 yards from my apartment building to get some rest to make it to the finish line. I don't know how are you people function.

 

i never got to know my dad sober. by the time i was old enough to actually build any type of an adult relationship he had been drinking for years. after everything he put us through...i tried a couple times but history would repeat...sometimes resulting in us getting physical - like the time he was telling me that he wanted to f*ck my high school gf etc...after enough of these incidents i dropped him from my life. my mom says he wasnt always like that....and i do have good memories from when i was young...but most were not. i wish i couldve known the man, instead i knew the drunk.

 

I had a Saucier that had to take a cab to work because he would get DUI's on his bicycle. About 1/2 way through busy nights I'd notice his sauces breaking and looking like shit, and I d look over and he'd be all sweaty and shaking. I'd send the food runner to the bar for 2 tequila shots, he'd slam them and be right back on point. I can imagine going cold turkey would have killed that guy

 

I've kind of found life has no rhyme or reason. I bought a gsxr 600 at 17 because I crashed my car drunk and lit it on fire( just me, no one else). I Totaled my car but turns out back then if you pay cash for a motorcycle you don't need insurance. That led me to the track which have meet amazing people over the years. But an honest answer is I can function on a 1/2 bottle of rum a day. Been doing it 15 years. The last 2 have been sober more days than 20 years combined. A full bottle is a slippery slope. I'm pretty good at my job where off the start, bosses are like no way. But then realize I show up to work on time everyday and accomplish what I'm paid to do. For the first time in life thinking the whole sober thing is good. But there is still the nagging feeling at 44 to just say fuck it, this is who I am and this is my life. Living on a yacht with 300 bottles of liquor and wine at a resort is not helping the cause

 

One day at a time man…

 

One day or Day one

 

A functioning addict is still an addict.

I've had this talk with my dad a hundred times. Surprised he is still with us.

Lonely men live a destructive life.

 

Hey man, you said it yourself right there! Keep thinking that thought, one day at a time. Hell, one hour, one minute at a time if you have to..

 

A handle of bourbon a day...every day? Sweet Jesus dude, that's a lot of sauce. I love bourbon and feel I drink more than most, but it takes me more than a week to kill a handle of the stuff.
Glad to hear you somehow got yourself to the otherside after that level of consumption. I know of someone who killed himself in his late 40s from alcohol. I was told he was drinking a handle of vodka a day and thought no way in hell that was possible. He had a fulltime job as well. Guess I'll have to give some credibility to that story now.

 

Dude go to Aldi and get their version of them. It is absolutely identical and I think $2.