suck it samuel jackson, i have one IN MY TOILET

A realtor, or firefighter are also viable alternatives.

 

Where does the OP live because, I'm never ever going there.


Note: I've probably over used this GIF but there is no better reason to use it than this case

 

Cut off his food supply and he will leave, or change your diet

 

Honestly this was my first thought: Just close up the toilet(s) when not in use and wait him out. Eventually he'll starve, or find another way out.

But then I looked up how long snakes can live without food... and it's months. Fuck that, I'm not letting some wiggly little bitch scare me off my toilets 'til winter.

 

I hope I'm never in your situation, but if I was this is what I'd do...

1. Close lid
2. Drain and remove tank
3. Remove base bolt/nut
4. Slide plywood under base
5. Take it outside
6. Replace toilet, because you will always see a snake in there.

 

You have to Google death? It ain't a damn fish!

All right, you need to get Animal Planet or National Geographic Wild, or some shit.

 

Can you just get the plunger going and send him to hades the old fashioned way?

 

Removing the bowl seems like the best idea so far.

 

Am I the only one that replaces the toilets when I move into a used place?

 

Wet/dry vacuum him up - bring vac outside and let him live on your neighbors property.

 

Remember,,,It could always get worse;
https://metro.co.uk/2016/05/26/pyth...-mans-penis-as-he-sits-on-the-toilet-5906744/

 

I think I’d learn to shit standing up after that.

 

Based on the photo and my trip to Thailand .. he was on a squatty. Not a typical western toilet. So he was kind of standing, you just hover over the bowl.

 

Musta 'BEEN' pretty well off...

 

Where’s YOUR pic??

 

You should have clean out plug some where in your yard. Open it, then put some bleach down your toilets. Make sure he has no where to go except to that clean out. Flush, and run water till he makes his way out. He’ll find the escape from the bleach water.

 

DON'T !! Or you'll summon him.

 

Am I the only one that realizes that you only need to replace the seat?