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Why are flies so G*****N annoying??!!??

Discussion in 'General' started by auminer, Jul 14, 2020.

  1. auminer

    auminer Renaissance Redneck

    Our new house has several swallow nests. I was adamant with the painters to NOT disturb their nests... Leave me some paint & I'll touch it up after the summer is over.

    They are so awesome to watch swooping around the yard in the evening. An adult swallow can...... *ahem*....swallow.....850 insects a day!!!
     
  2. YamahaRick

    YamahaRick Yamaha Two Stroke Czar

    You almost gave yourself a solution.

    Start wiping your butt better (zero residue) after taking care of business on the throne, and the flies will not be incentivized to follow you around.

    You are a walking supply of readily available protein source for them.
     
  3. rd49

    rd49 Well-Known Member

    Aren’t you the dog shit picker upper? Thought you be pretty used to them. :D
     
  4. auminer

    auminer Renaissance Redneck

    I bathe after my throne time. My anus is squeaky clean. Clean enough to kiss... ;)

    Besides... they seem more interested in my face & head. Maybe I'm a shitfaced shithead?


    Yep. I still hate the little bastages, though. The first coupla weeks I would bring my collections home & put in my own trash bin. That came to a screechin damn halt. :Puke:

    Now it all goes into the commercial bin at the shop.
     
  5. FrancisA

    FrancisA Are you scared?

    upload_2020-7-15_18-2-24.jpeg

    I wish I had taken a photo of what that little device looked like in two days worth of sitting outside my house. Thing was filled to the brim with dead flies. Must have been hundreds of them. $5.
     
  6. auminer

    auminer Renaissance Redneck

    Did you ever happen to walk past it downwind?

    Them things would gag a friggin maggot off a gutwagon. They'd make you want to stuff your nose into a skunk's ass just to block some of the stench. They're nastier than a Croatian PAWG's taint.

    Welcome back, man... :crackup::beer:
     
    FrancisA likes this.
  7. FrancisA

    FrancisA Are you scared?

    I actually sniffed it. It smelled of rotting roadkill, but it was so bad I wanted to keep smelling it...

    ... I have a habit of liking trash apparently ;)
     
  8. bored&stroked

    bored&stroked Disclaimer: Can't spell

    Nobody use the glowing bug zapper things anymore? Those were cool as a kid.
     
  9. Potts N Pans

    Potts N Pans Well-Known Member

    I will say, I have not seen many bugs while stationed out here in the Middle East.
     
  10. SpeedyTide

    SpeedyTide 'Bama's Bad Boy

    Which are worst.....Flies, Mosquito's, or Gnats!! ALL pain in the azzes!!

    IMO mosquito's are the most tolerable.
     
  11. FrancisA

    FrancisA Are you scared?

    you ever slapped your own face so hard it felt like bdsm
     
  12. SpeedyTide

    SpeedyTide 'Bama's Bad Boy

    Fortunately, I'm coordinated enough I don't have to resort to violence upon myself. :D
     
  13. Funkm05

    Funkm05 Dork

    Yes. Is it wrong that I liked it?? :oops:
     
  14. Mongo

    Mongo Administrator

    I got nailed by black flies when I was 7 or 8 up there, bites on every square inch of uncovered skin. Still remember it.
     
  15. pickled egg

    pickled egg Tell me more

    And apparently, still all swole up from it :D
     
    Funkm05 likes this.
  16. Funkm05

    Funkm05 Dork

    I call bullshit. Even THEY don’t have enough flies to cover that much territory. :D
     
  17. Sabre699

    Sabre699 Wait...hold my beer.

    It's the state bird.
     
  18. Mongo

    Mongo Administrator

    Nah, that's from learning how to cook :D
     
  19. Mongo

    Mongo Administrator

    You have obviously never been in the Adirondacks during fly season.
     
    britx303 likes this.
  20. beechkingd

    beechkingd Well-Known Member

    My grandfather used to tell me about when he was young in the early 1900's. One summer he lived with his grandmother in a sod house in S. Dakota. They didn't have screens on the windows and shook bedsheets to try to drive the flies out of the house.

    When I lived out there for a few years during college, I thought it was strange that you could actually swat the black flies with your hand out there. Where I grew up in WNY they were faster and there was no way you could get them with your hand.
     

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