I know how it ends.

The masses will be flushing their beard oil infused ass wipes, paper towels, dryer sheets, t-shirts, socks, Bernie flyers, whatever they're wiping their ass with as the Toilet Paper crisis continues.

We'll all be laying around sick trying not to die, then the sewers will back up.

Godspeed, fellas. Godspeed.

 

do preppers have bidets??

 

Has the TP brain disorder hit your continent also?

 

Up here the crazy has started already. Tried to buy toilet paper last night on my way home because I actually need some and costco lady laughed at me. Said they sold out of 700 units at 10am. Rest of town is like that too. I did get a chuckle out of some lady that had a couple cases of water in her cart and 3 packs of paper towels......That's going to be a rough ride for ya you stupid muppet . I told the costco lady If I run out I was just planning on skooching across the carpet like a dog. Guarantee that put a mental image in her head she couldn't shake for a while

 

Save the TP and ride a bidet .

Hash tag it and get it trending for the sheep pasture.

 

You can always rinse your ass in the shower...a stand-up bidet.

 

I get mine delivered by Amazon once a month with their auto delivery feature. They made my monthly delivery of it on Tuesday without issues.

 

Just to clarify, without issues or without tissues? Lol.

 

Good question. Maybe I should open the box and inspect it instead of just throwing it in the garage.

 

sometimes that’s just the best option anyway.

It’s amusing to me that people’s biggest concern is wiping their ass

 

You fools!

Get paid to poop! While the other wankers are down in the alley puffing their coffin nails or their hipster juice heaters, take a moment for yourself and enjoy the solitude and silence of the workplace shitter, lose a bit of weight and save yourself the insanity of dealing with the hair on fire crowds in the local markets clamoring for the last roll of Scott 36 grit single-ply.

 

Not directed at you, just making a goofy observation.

Are there peeps that don’t do this anyway, even after using toilet paper? Kind of the purpose of taking a shower in the first place. You know, to clean oneself. I wonder if there will be another press conference letting people know this. LOL

 

There's always Sears Catalog pages. Oh, wait...

 

Hey @G 97... Save your corn cobs.

You'll be rich!

I get a cut.

 

Where do you think "corn hole" came from?

 

Oh you’ll get a cut alright.
Meanwhile, you can use this; although in doing so, you're likely to contract a number of other infectious diseases.

 

So you are forgetting the "I never poop out of the house because germs" thread?

 

Always poop "on the clock."

 

In ancient Rome, public toilets were equipped with a bucket of water containing a sponge on a stick. Use the hallowed wisdom of our forefathers as you will.