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Corporate speak

Discussion in 'General' started by Hotfoot, Aug 13, 2019.

  1. Senna

    Senna Well-Known Member

    I'll share something a friend of mine forwarded me.

     
    badmoon692008 likes this.
  2. Senna

    Senna Well-Known Member

  3. GRH

    GRH Well-Known Member

    Ha Ha, we're going thru an ERP replacement evaluation with 2 potential suppliers, during the review I pulled off a "can you go back to the previous slide"
     
    Phl218 likes this.
  4. Phl218

    Phl218 .

    Those only work with dumbasses around you.

    “ I’m not sure what these numbers mean,” and sit back. You’ve bought yourself almost an entire meeting of appearing smart —> will get you a dumbass badge in my field



    I like the “this may sound like a dumb question, but...” during telecons. Sure thing it’s something to try to pin your side against the wall.
     
  5. crashman

    crashman Grumpy old man

    I work with some people that use those stupid techniques. They all make a person look like either a boot licker or a dumb ass. Probably the most annoying one is repeating what the last person said slowly. That doesnt make a person look smart. It makes it look like their pea sized brain can't absorb what the last person said.
     
  6. Venom51

    Venom51 John Deere Equipment Expert - Not really

    I may have finally found the phrase that will get me on the unemployment line..

    "It's so easy even an executive could do it."
     
    ChemGuy and BigBird like this.
  7. BigBird

    BigBird blah

    I actually think they'll find humour in that if it's coming from an IT engineer.
     
  8. Pittenger5

    Pittenger5 Well-Known Member

    So ... 90% of corporate America?
     
  9. Phl218

    Phl218 .


    :crackup:

    the peeps i talk to don't fall for that shit
     
  10. sdiver

    sdiver Well-Known Member

    But the peeps who own your peeps do.
     
    Ducti89 likes this.
  11. Phl218

    Phl218 .

    not the owners, but yeah, c-level for sure
     
    sdiver likes this.
  12. Yesterday we went from coarse to fine and only worried about stuff inside our sphere of influence.
     
  13. Jedb

    Jedb Professional Novice :-)

    Can we get some more detail around this?
    I'd like to get as granular as possible so we can create a win-win for company and customer.
    I'll ping you to set up some time.
     
    BigBird likes this.
  14. My calendar is up to date, I think we can have a stimulating conversation and really get some good synergies off the ground.
     
  15. Nah, I’d laugh if someone said that to me.
     
  16. Jedb

    Jedb Professional Novice :-)

    I think that we can leverage some cross-departmental collaboration and achieve a really good outcome.
     
  17. Let’s break down the walls and create a paradigm shift so we can execute the plan flawlessly.
     
    BigBird likes this.
  18. Brian Van

    Brian Van Track Gear Retailer

    I can't imagine a world where people actually feel the need to talk like that. Jean's, t-shirts and maximizing the word fuck is the life for me!
     
  19. rwdfun

    rwdfun

    They have to justify their ridiculous salaries and bonuses somehow. Because they sure as shit don't actually add 100-1000 times the value to the company that their compensation suggest
     
  20. tgold

    tgold Well-Known Member

    "Let's assemble a cross-functional team"
    Well, no shit. Why the hell would you want to gather a bunch of people together that think exactly the same way?
     

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