Hurting or helping...Dogs

If the kids love the dogs they need to be there to say goodbye. It won't be easy.

 

You could have the vet come to your house, if you'd like the kids to be present. The kids weren't here, but my guy let me operate the plunger, after he placed the needles. Hank slept like he hadn't slept in months, and I knew he was resting, so it gave me a good bit of closure.

Maybe a Saturday, when you don't have much going on, and the kids can just hang, or go do something fun? They're resilient as hell, so just be upfront, and honest.

 

Just for reference, as far as deaths go, I just tell the kids that it happens, it's ok to be sad, but we have to focus on the good times we all shared. Humans or animals.

 

FWIW, I have had to go through this a few times and after I finally came to the decision, I never had any feeling afterwards that it had been too soon. In one case I took the dog to the vet, in another case I had a mobile vet come to me. The second cost more but was much better, much less stressful on the dog and for me; my sweet dog was able to lie down in a nice spot at home with me right there and the vet was great, used a medication to sedate him first so he went very, very peacefully, just seemed to quietly doze off. I knew if I took him to the vet hospital he would be stressed and nervous and I was glad not to have to put him through that.

 

Lopitt85, similar deal occurred with my Retriever Rua (means red in Gaelic)
I knew he wouldnt make it threw the night. I laid my head on his shoulder and hummed "let it be" for an hour or so.
At 530am I left the back door open and tried to get some sleep.
Woke up at 7am and Rua wasn't where I left him. He'd walked down to the pool and laid behind the pool heater. He's burried 25 feet from where he died.

 

Our last AB was hanging on with cancer for her last 2 years. Every morning I woke up I expected to find her passed away. She never did.I finally had to come home from work one day after months of carrying her outside to go to the bathroom and feeding her with a fork/spoon, and took her to the vet for her eternal sleep. She just laid there in my arms looking up at me while they gave her the injection. I knew she wasn’t hurting anymore so it was for the best for her and it was time to go to doggy heaven. Talk it over with the family so they are prepared and I feel they should get their goodbyes. Damn , ,it’s waterworks here now.

 

That's some heavy stuff. Use your judgement. IMO, dying, and seeing others die is part of life. It may help them somewhere down the road in dealing with another death. I remember when the BUD was put down. Us kids were there together, even had the damn vet boo hooing, along with the assistant. Glad I was there.

 

@zx6rfool I'm pleading with you to do the hard thing. The compassionate thing. Your dogs are tougher than you or I could ever be, so they'll keep on keeping on long after the joy is gone.

Over two years ago I sat on a blanket on my vet's floor sobbing with Maximillion, my 13 year old GSP. It didn't feel like it was his time yet. We'd spent the morning in the woods at an old hunting spot where he actually managed to flush a bird or two. His nose was as good as ever although he needed help back to the truck after an hour or so. We shared a beer and some bacon, a hunting tradition, before getting in the truck to face the appointment set up two weeks prior.

My vet told me about a year beforehand that Max would let me know when it was time, but to pay close attention because it's better to say goodbye months too early than minutes too late. I took that advice to heart, which was the solitary reason I was at the office on that day. Despite the knowledge that I was doing the right thing intellectually, my heart nearly led Max to the truck because I wanted so badly to have one more day, or one more week, or one more month.

Nonetheless, I set my jaw and nodded to the vet that I was as ready as I'd ever be.

For weeks afterward I was full of remorse. Max hadn't been able to control his bowels for a while, and I felt like I killed my dog so I wouldn't have to clean up after his daily accidents. I was ashamed of being so selfish but what was done was done.

Many months later it hit me that I waited too long. Max was suffering. He had little joy in his life, but unaware of his own mortality, he just kept fighting through it. I should have put him down sooner, maybe months sooner. The selfish choice was keeping him alive and allowing him to endure his pain. The selfless choice was releasing him from it.

I'm sorry man. I know how hard it is, but you'll look back at it knowing you did what was right.

 

I have to second what JBraun just said. My mother did the same hing with her second dog. Tiffany was just over 18 and in really bad shape, but mother had the vet keep her going nearly another month. Mother regretted it for years, saying that she kept Tiffany around too long and that it was for her own feelings, not in Tiff's best interests. It's bringing tears to my eyes remembering how it was for her, all because we couldn't face letting her go when it was best for her just to spare ourselves the sadness at that time.

 

I waited too long on one of my Labs years ago and it still haunts me today.

 

It’s tough, awful and painful wrapped into a big bag of suck.

Don’t be selfish.

 

Ask your vet to refer you to a mobile vet in your area that does at home end of life. It will be better for the dogs, the kids and yourself. Mine have all had their preferred spot to lay in the house and that's where all but one has spent their last day with us. She very quickly spiraled out of control on that morning. We were on the phone making the arrangements when it happened. I felt like I let her down because she didn't get the peaceful exit the rest of them have. That's almost as tough to live with as making the decision.

 

Same here.

 

This is my terror. My worst nightmare, that selfishly I hanging on, but also the horror of taking them too soon. My little man Freddie lied in my lap this afternoon, he never does that for me, only the x, my daughter and my girl, I felt his breath, his strain, he is struggling. Do I put down one first knowing the next will follow, fuck, I know the answer, she will chose her own time.

 

It's time man.....so so sorry.

 

Sorry for the position that you're in. It sucks. It's always about the quality of life. Brings back tough memories. It's ok to let them know they can go...

 

Dear God..This thread is making me want to cry.I don't know what Im going to do when Its time for Yoshi,and Jack to go.
I have spent time dreading,and fearing the time They mean more to me than anyone will ever know.Im sorry for all you guys going through this.

 

Got very close to this with Hank. Vet was able to come almost immediately, and I didn't own a handgun at the time.

 

Its even more awkward, just let the x know, she has the kids but want to come say goodbye. she didnt want them.

 

All good shared info.
One thing I would add is that they only know what comes naturally, or is trained into them, by you.
In nature when you lose the pace, you are quickly gone. If they cannot, or do not try, to dog, it is time.
Focus on the good times/experiences as you walk your last steps with them. It won’t fix the hurt, but it will help.