Sales Weasels Unite!!!

So what I hear is the world would be a better place if every normal human being picked up a sales person by the feet and beat a marketing leech to death with them.

 

If you can’t make your point in 2-3 well thought out, concise sentences, then you’ve wasted everyone’s time.

 

This thread makes me appreciate working alone with my dogs for company.

 

What about the Sales Engineer. The poor soul stuck between what sales has promised and the client before the actual sale. Trying to actually satisfy or explain to the potential client what the product can do and how while the sales guy is breathing down there neck and kicking them under the table to keep in line with the shit they said.

 

I'm in sales but it's expensive equipment and it is a long game in terms of bringing a project to fruition. That means every win puts alot of slack in my rope. All our engineers are young (most under 30) and they all seem t think us sales guys just hang out all day and take people out to lunch that lasts all afternoon.... which isn't totally wrong. Sales is the best job for a slacker/C student type. Just gotta be able to back up your bullshit with some technical knowledge.

 

What do I need to do to put my product in your upcoming project today?

 

Or at the very least know when to get some assistance from an engineer or sales engineer. That's all we ever ask of our sales people. The moment you don't know the answer get someone who does involved. It makes everything easier than trying to undo the lie.

 

No. If I don't know the answer, I'll make something up that sounds plausible. Deal with it, enginerds! That's why we let you work in those dank, windowless prison cells.

 

Lucky for me i was in service, then engineering and then sales so most of them come to me when they need answers. I've been doing it for 15 years so most of them were barely in high school when i was learning our equipment inside and out.

 

Dave, aren't you a sales weasel? Or a slightly reformed one?

 

E money, f@ck yeah I am one. I'm a weasel and proud of it but, doesn't mean I have to like my breed.

 

I remember interviewing for a job one time (I didn't get it). I was selling cars, and I was applying to be a rep for a petroleum company. The guy asked me why I wanted to leave the car business. I said because I didn't like the reputation car salesman had and I wanted to be in a more respected profession. He took offense and said they were just trying to make an honest living (as I'm thinking to myself, "this guy must not know any real car salesmen").

 

One of our F&I guys was bragging that he convinced a little old lady to put less money down so she could invest it. The real reason was that she was putting down too much money for the lender to approve gap Insurance. He then of course proceeded to sell her gap and every other worthless product he had and I asked him, how do you sleep at night?

“On a really expensive bed in a really big house courtesy of morons.”

 

Why I hate people

 

Fuuucking Engineers.
"I don't have a process for that."
"We can't have that done tomorrow, because the paperwork isn't through."
"It needs to be peer reviewed before we release it."
"Technically that's illegal. I don't wanna go to jail."


Fuck your honesty! Give me that screwdriver, I'll do it my own damn self

 

Seriously. I need action, not excuses office nerd!

Wanna know the best part about sales? I can sit here in my underwear and do this while they all suffer in the damn office till 5 on a friday. I'm gonna go have a lunch date w the wife and then head over to the local shop to get a new tire mounted for my race bike. Might swing by the bar for a lil happy hour and then a 5:00 conference call with a west coast (potential) customer. Might try to squeeze in a nap... dunno if i have time though.

 

I don't know what you are talking about...I visit the office once a week or less...

 

Everybody hates a salesperson until they need one. Salesperson gets the job done.
"They were just lucky!"

 

I deal with computer hardware and software sales people all the time. Never has a single one "closed a sale" for anything with me. I get quotes from them and if I decide to go with it, I put in the order. Never listen to a thing they say, always discuss product with the sales engineers or internal support people.
The sales people are simply the people that take my PO if I decide to go with them.

 

I like your attitude.