Cleaning up puke...

Pulled in the neighborhood after a long day and wife’s car was in driveway. Normally she’d be teaching yoga on thursdays so I tend to work later but she was home at 7:45. Weird. Maybe they cancelled class or something. Nope, she’s got food poisoning. Wow, what a wreck. She puked all over the place and said, “I thought I had to shit and was on the toilet, but then had to puke so I puked In the sink”.

WTF, puke in a trashcan that I can throw away for a few bucks. Whiles she’s been hovering the toilet I had to clean my sink. Man, cleaning up puke is no bueno.

I feel bad for her, I’ve never had food poisoning but it don’t look fun. We’re supposed to go out of town on Saturday for the long weekend, I don’t know if she will be up to it.

 

Ain't love grand?

 

Mix hot water with vinegar to kill the smell so you can get it cleaned up, and then use a disinfectant to clean it again and get rid of germs.

 

She's not going out of town. She wont even want to go to work on Monday.

 

Borrow a dog. Clean up the rest as directed above.

 

Here's my best food poisoning story. When I used to work at a boarding school in rural VA, we had to drive into town to go drinking. We had somewhat of a reputation amongst the faculty for the frequency with which we did so.

That night we started at a buddy's restaurant, where I ate some bad lamb. As soon as dinner was over, we go over to the bar; I have one drink and start to feel like shit. I tell my buddies sorry, I have to go home. 10 min into the 45 min ride home, I'm booting on the side of the road. We stop two more times.

As we pull onto campus and into a parking spot, I fling the door open and fall to my hands and knees and start spewing. At this point I'm sweating and heaving as most of what was in my stomach is gone. I catch my breath long enough to look up, and with puke dribbling out of my nose and mouth I see the boss man out walking his dog. I had literally flung myself at his feet without realizing it. Thankfully I did not puke on him.

My buddies were sober and could explain the situation, but I'm still not entirely sure he believed them.

 

Assuming it's food poisoning, should be good in 24 - 48 hrs. Drink lots and lots of Pedialyte.

 

Whatever you do, don't clean up puke from a beige carpet with bleach. BAD idea, no matter how smart and genius you might think it might be all the time while still drunk.

Done both ends a few times from food poisoning. It sucks. Got it Christmas eve a couple years ago from taco bell while out last minute shopping. Spent a few hours that night turned sideways on the can puking into the shower doing the robby bobby cleanse. "It's all pipes" Costanza.

 

I'd much rather clean up puke than clean up shit.

 

you know in those old timey movies where somebody gets plague or leprosy or something and they put the guy on a horse drawn cart/gurney thing, slowly wheel him up to some cave outside of the village, and kinda roll him off the gurney into a slump and give him some kinda ratty blanket and just sort of wish him luck and if he survives he gets to come back and if not well...


just sayin...

 

One night, I woke from sleep at 0300 with the urge to puke. Headed over to the loo, just waiting for it to arrive. It hurt too, so I was groaning a bit.

That groaning woke my wife, who couldn’t see me around the corner. She (later told me) thought I was jerking off. And just when she was going to yell for me to close to the door, I started throwing up in the sickest way ever.

Instead, she got up, put some warm water on a rag and helped me out.

That woman has a sick mind, and a big heart. A keeper, I tell ya!

 

Right out of Deadwood.

 

And that is an industrial love story...

 

had FP in Mexico once. no bueno.

puked and shat the life out of me (office restroom, it started at 9AM). drove back to the hotel, with 2 gal of gatorade (no pedialite there, so G-rade is the next best). was kinda ok in the evening, ordered me a chicken noodle soup. back on track next morning.

 

Hopefully the story would have ended the same way if you were jerking off.

 

I'm a volunteer FF/EMT, so I have some bad puke stories. We keep a can of Vick's vapor rub in the rig. If we are on your way to a bad puke/shit/whatever call we either rub some under our nose or jam it in the nostrils just to be safe. Sometimes it's not quite enough for me though.....

Having four kids also leads to lots of puking. I can't handle it. My wife is a saint when it comes to that stuff and cleaning it up.

 

Woke up and aid she felt much better. Off to work at 7am. She’s pretty tough!

 

On our last trip, the boy puked all over the rear seat of our family grocery getter. I was 6 hours away from home, so I decided to got to a car cleaning place. The idjit quoted me 150$ to do the cleaning. I told him to go fuck himself and bought an 8$ can of upholstery cleaner at Canadian Tire and did the job myself. Sure, it sucked for about 7 minutes and I had a few close calls, but I hardened the fuck up, did it and saved 140$. Go daddy !

 

Canadian Puke is child's play ... try cleaning up some real to honest American Puke .. then tell us how you hardened the Fuck up !!

 

Lil' Canuck bastid never even said he was sorry