Bullets you dodged?

What? No airplane on a treadmill. Week man, just week.

 

What constitutes fat?
Does pregnant count?

 

If you can't hear the stereo anymore when she's taking a mustache ride that's too much women.

 

Women are like forks...you just need to make sure the rebound isn't too fast for your riding style.

 

.....and this is why she's my ex.

 

Who? Lisa?

 

Several years ago, my wife at the time said she's hungry, let's go to the chicken place. I said ok, but I want to see this last segment on the network news. We left the house when the news was over, right at 6:00. On the way to the chicken place, I said I really had a taste for the beef place, how about we go there instead, both were only five minutes from the house. She agrees, we go to beef place, get there at 6:05, have a nice dinner, all is good. The next morning, I read in the paper that there was a mob-style hit in the parking lot of the chicken place the night before, right at 6:05. Two gun men, got out of a car, started shooting a guy walking across the very small parking lot, dude went down, they kept shooting, dude crawled to the door of the chicken place, where he died. Two gun men sped away and have never been caught. I figure that if we had gone to the chicken place, several things could have happened; we get there and killers see us, put hit off to another day; we pull in right in the middle of the shooting, get shot ourselves; or we pull in right after it happens, find the dead guy, have to call police, etc. Bullets dodged.

 

So the Jim Levenstein character was based on your life?

 

Not me ...

 

And just like that you become that manager guy banging a subordinate. It wasn't the clap that was the major bullet dodged.

 

I was shot at on two different occasions, both missed, does that count?

 

Do those rules apply at strip clubs?

 

Just Gahdamn.

 

See now you’re making assumptions too...why does a manager have to be a man? Do you think that a strip club can only have male managers?

 

Why does banging have to be hetero? Then again, since you stated you played the back nine, I figured you wouldn't do it with your tongue, NTTIAWWT.

 

All this talk about relations has got me worked up. Imma need to relate to someone or something in the next 15 minutes. It's been two days since I related to someone/thing.

 

BiLo has apple pies on sale.

 

I can relate.

 

Why not just say KFC and Arby's?