choices (hey I'm posting a motorcycle related thread, haters)

i've always lived a life of very controlled risk taking. it's one of the reasons i struggle emotionally with racing myself... i can't control the level of risk as much as i'd prefer. so, i'm about to tiptoe back in with a set of 'tard wheels for my 450 KTM and a TTR 125 for my girlfriend so we can go get lost in the woods.

that said, with climbing, i've found as i get older that the things i enjoy most are long moderate days out. think long mulitpitch 5.7-5.9 (trad) in gorgeous places. that's well within my ability, thus massively reducing the risk... the whole point of climbing for me now is the location. Utah's got so much of that.

maybe that sort of mentality makes it possible to square her needs and yours.

 

I stopped free soloing when my daughter was born. I like trad/big wall and bouldering

 

Under what circumstances did you meet this "serious" girlfriend?

Doesn't feel odd to you that you never started a thread about whether you should quit dangerous sports because of your own daughter?

 

It wears off, trust me (not the rage, disgust and indifference). Especially if you have to sell your soul in order to keep it.

You wouldn't be bored if you were racing and rock climbing like you want to.

 

Umm...

 

He's not contemplating it because he's risk adverse - he's doing it to make his girl more comfortable.

 

i would think that being able to articulate the relatively low risk associated with that would go a long way toward acceptance of/ and maybe even joining in the activity occasionally. it's basically just hiking, but with more protection, right?

 

Take her to a climbing gym to check out the sport. Start bouldering. Get her comfortable with it before you go solo free climb el Cap.

Same with bikes. Ride street. Explain tracks are safer than street. Ride a trackday or two with her there.

Then step up to a turbo busa.

 

OK, I see. Not sure the distinction makes sense to me, but I get it.

 

I was active in said sports tbroughout her life. It's only the last few years that I've stopped. Her mother was fine with it, rather I think she fed off the energy and life it gave me.

she's also brought up the point of my daughter. It's not entirely selfish on her part. She's just the first one to make me think twice about it

 

I've climbed el cap

Took my partner and I three full days

 

^^^^^^LOLOLOL

 

this could be the particular woman you're seeing, or....it's you just getting older/wiser and gaining some perspective.

personally, i'd be VERY wary of the timing of this. throughout my life, whenever i've really been kicking ass, there's always some new pussy there to throw a wrench in things.

you don't strike me as a halfway guy. she's going to get serious IF you give up the things you want to do, and being the person you really are? f*ck ALL of that.

and even if you COULD get her on the race/climb team....when the inevitable mistake/injury happens....then what? at best, you'd never hear the end of it. also likely, she dips out.

PS....what's this chick bringing to table? 11/10 hot? 15/10 in the sack? PHD? old family money? without at least three of the four, you're playing yourself.

i just figure, if you were going to settle down and be cool dad, it'd HAVE TO be with your own kid, and someone who fits your criteria and is down with the program.

 

35 posts? Seriously? Y'all SLIPPIN'!!

 

^^there's pics in the other thread

 

Yeah ain't that feeling a mother fucker?
My thinking is talk to her about it and explain everything, then make the decision for yourself so theres no resentment. but coming from someone whos cold like you describe yourself don't lose someone who makes you feel the things you want to feel now that you've got a chance experience them, because you can't replace that.

 

IMHO I think this sums it up.

Every relationship is different, but at the end of the day, people are who they are. If changing the other person makes them happier, then maybe that person should keep on looking instead of trying to mold their perfect person... because who has control of the situation...it's sure not Gumby.

 

Live the life that makes YOU happy. Changing for someone else only leads to resentment.