So I know some of you have dealt with personally have extended hospital stays (i'll define it as over 2 weeks) or have had people you know be in for extended periods. How the hell do you deal with it? My pregnant wife has been in for 4 weeks and I feel like this is the hardest (physically and emotionally) thing I've ever done in my life!
Make lots of trips out of the hospital. My wife and daughter(7 weeks premature) were in the hospital for 2 weeks last month. I went crazy sitting in the room. I made lots of trips back to the house or running errands to clear my mind. An iPad or tablet comes in handy as well. Also having a second child with you makes it 10x worse.
I spent 2.5 months in the hospital due to my crash on June 1st. I was in so much pain that I could not think or do much else. What I will say is having visitors is cool but don't think you have to stay for hours and hours. Most times just a 15 or 30 minute visit is plenty.
My wife was in the hospital for a month before the twins were born. I visited every night after work and almost all day every weekend until visiting hours were over except for one day when there was a snow storm. In this regard I didn't want her to feel alone and have company, especially since she was carrying our first kids. Hardest part was the anticipation of never knowing what was going to happen. A lot of false alarms. I carried my laptop and streamed movies for us or me. Just surfed the web, ordered food and hung out. She even allowed me to watch sports. I felt good knowing that the whole family was there including the two new additions
Its brutal ... my Joe was in for a week with a serious health scare & my mom went in for open heart surgery during that as well. I was supposed to be in charge of handling the horses for mom but obviously that got all screwed up. Do not be afraid to ask for help & to lean on your family/friends ... and if you break down emotionally, let yourself. *hugs*
It's a lot different depending whether you are the one IN the bed or the one standing BESIDE the bed. Very difficult for both, but a lot different. In the bed, it is about patience and trying to achieve a Zen-like acceptance that time to heal takes time on the calendar and the clock. Waiting to heal is nerve-wracking. For the support troops, keep visits short, don't feel like you have to visit EVERY DAMN DAY, and don't import your problems into the hospital. You are married to this woman? In that case, remind yourself that the marriage vow didn't say "Whenever I want 2xIDB", it said "In sickness and in health,..." among other things. It really helps to remember that you signed up for this knowingly and that there WILL be an end to it. If you find it overwhelming, ask one of he doctors or nurses to put you in touch with the Social Services people at the hospital. They deal with this every day, and really are good at directing you to resources that can assist you emotionally and with the myriad tasks that you encounter. Best of luck with it.
When I was in the hospital for a few weeks (twice), I just told my immediate family that a visit for an hour a day was more than enough. No need to turn everybody else's life upside down just because yours is. Short visits were actually preferable to long ones, especially when the nurses and doctors have to do a lot of stuff with you. You find yourself wanting to nap at odd times, since you never get more than an hour or two at a time to sleep, night or day. Of course, I'm a rather solitary individual, so some folks stuck in the hospital may feel differently.
Thats how i feel about visiting, if i have to go see someone in the hospital, about 30 minutes is all i can take. Now i have a mother in law who has been in a hospital for coming up on 3 weeks, and she gets upset if you dont stay every spare minute that you have with her. I cant do it, so it falls on my wife. She finally had to explain to her mom that she had other shit to do, like get some sleep in between 10-12 hour work days.
But If I ever get married again, that one is going in. So to speak. I spent months in the hospital for my Mom, before we brought her home and she rather peacefully passed away there. I know she was grateful for my presence. At the Indy GP this year, I had my own issues, and ended up missing most of it lying in a hospital bed. I was quite stoked, even in quick doses for those folks that found the time to drop by. Not a fan of hospitals. They smell weird. -jim
This, hate hospitals. You gotta get out when you can. Fresh air and the BBS will get you through. Good luck!!!
Well I've been visiting her almost every day after work. The first week I took off and spent the whole week with her and over Thanksgiving I spent almost the whole week there. I've also been spending weekends with her. Luckily her parents are local and have been helping keep her company a lot as well. I'm ok surviving in the hotel. It's the driving back and forth and not knowing what the hell is going on that's stressing me out. Physically I'm not sleeping enough and have been living off of caffeine.
