Hey Dad.... Dad... Daddy.... DAAAAAAAADD!

That place surrounded by VA and MD is pretty good evidence that it doesn't happen.

 

We were over at my parents house and my 2 year old dumped out her pile of legos or bricks in the kitchen. This is a no no, she has plenty of space to do what ever she wants, so my wife told her to pick them up. My daughter ignored her, again my wife told her to pick them up, again no response. Finally My wife said "Bridget if you dont' pick those up you are goign to go sit in timeout" My daughter looked up at my wife, smiled, walked over to her timeout spot, sat down and said "I sit!" Even my wife couldn't stop laughing.....

 

I prefer the PC term, dust your diapers.

 

NO! is a game at our house right now. I tell her no and she laughs and keeps doing it until I keep moving her hands so much she either throws a fit, or just moves on to something else.

 

I have plenty of parent fails.

I have ten year old identical twin boys. When they were little, their mother worked and got her MBA at night, thus leaving me to do the traditional mommy chores. No biggie, I loved it. So when it came to potty training, I was in charge.

Now I've heard all the stuff about pissing on a Cherrio in the toilet and I wasn't buying it. So here's how I did it: We have a deck behind the house that is elevated about three feet from the yard. I'd be outside with the boys and say, "Hey, watch this." Then I'd whip it out and piss off the deck. The kids thought it was hilarious. I told them, "Now you try." They did, and thought it was hilarious. After about a week of pissing off the deck, we were inside and I said, "Hey, watch this" and I pissed in the toilet. Then I said, "You try, it's just like peeing off the deck" and they did. I'm a genius, right?

Only problem is, now, to this day, they will generally go outside to take a leak. Usually off the deck. But, they've been in trouble for pissing on a tree on the playground in kindergarten, I've caught them taking a leak in the front yard in front of god and everybody... the kids piss everywhere.


Let's hear some of YOUR parenting fails.

 

I'll make a long story short. When Kaitlyn was a baby I stuck her head in a moving ceiling fan during a botched diaper change. She still has a little scar.

 

I can't make any story short. But I had another parent fail last weekend...

I took the boys out in the boondocks in the Jeep. I mean, we were OUT THERE. Deep in the Ocala National Forest probably about ten miles south of Salt Springs (you Fla. folks probably know what I'm talking about... that vast expanse of nothing but woods and swamps with goat-paths leading through it.) The nearest hospital was probably an a half hour through the woods to the nearest public road and another 45 minutes to Ocala.

The wind was really whippin' last Friday and there was a downed tree across the trail. Probably about ten to twelve inches in diameter. It was too entangled in brush to be moved and I couldn't turn around so we would have had to drive backwards forever to get onto another trail. In my infinite wisdom, I told the kids to stand on that tree on the side of the path (which was about as wide as my Jeep) and get it down to ground level... I'd drive over it. They did, and the front tires went over the tree, then the rear tires... then

SNAP! The tree broke. All of that bound up energy catapulted my young 'uns in a spectacular manner. I turned around and saw my little boys writhing on the ground. I about shit. I was certain that I killed or maimed my kids.

Turns out they were rolling on the ground laughing.

 

And wanting to do it again I bet.

 

My babies are all grown and this thread brings back so many memories. Especially the ones where the kids totally disarm the parent with off the wall statements. When my son was around 7 years old, we were entering a Pizza Hut,, and right when we walked through the door, a super ball came whizzing by my head. There was a women sitting in a booth who had unleashed her little terror on society, and he was running around throwing this superball and it was bouncing off walls, ceilings, patrons etc:. As the ball zinged past my head,my son saw it and it triggered his fetch senses. As he started to dash after the ball, i caught him with the Vulcan death grip on the clavicle area and brought him to his knees. I looked at him and said " What in the hell do you think your doing". His reply became a staple of family conversation is still laughed about 18 years later. He says " i dont know daddy, i guess im just discombobulated. I looked at my wife and we both started laughing hysterically. At that point, he knew he was off the hook. I have no idea where he picked up the word, and couldnt believe he used it properly in a sentence.

 

it may not work for everyone, works just fine in my house. you have to know how and when to use it. overabuse can cause them not to respect it, thats when its not effective.

 

I really think it depends on the kid. Didn't work at all with Olivia, she would put herself in timeout. You would walk by and she would be sitting there, ask her what she did and the reply would come "oh nothing, I like it here. It's peaceful.". Conrad howls but it doesn't help modify his behavior, the bull headed child will get out and return straight to what sent him up the river the first time. We don't bother with timeout anymore.

 

We were at a restaurant with my then three year old daughter. It had a bunch of old album covers on the walls. One had Crissie Hynde in a bright red jacket. "Daddy, do you know who that is?" she pointed. "No, who is it?" As God is my witness she said (in a voice of disgust only a three year old could muster), "'DADDY! That's Casey Stoner!" I almost wept for joy.

 

HAHAHAHAH my daughter doesnt soeak much, but my son never shuts up. he goes on and on..

we do the 3 count. with no room for error, its been quite a while since ive had to count past 2.

 

because they're kids. they don't think as quickly as adults. the counting gives them some time to realize what the consequences may be. that works for me too.

 

You don't even have to say anything. Just look at them and say "one". If you get to "two", you can see their resolve crumble. It's like pulling the wings off avatar flies.