I can't stop farting.

What's your diet look like? I eat around 225-250 grams of protein a day and kick that off with 2 cups of egg whites for breakfast so I've come to embrace my flatulence.

 

that there is some GREAT advice. :up: Friend of mine experienced the same thing, went to the doc, at 61 years old had NEVER had a colonoscopy (which was surprising considering they seem pretty common among men over 40-45, ive already been poked down there once, and then they went in from the top side once). Turns out he had colon cancer and has just gone thru what he called "the worst hell in my 62 years of life", and that he wouldnt wish that shit on ANYBODY. Currently undergoing the last round of chemo after the surgery, and prognosis is to be cancer free, but only time will tell.

 

Lay off the genetically modified hampsters...

 

My diet recently has consisted of water, milk, orange juice, Dr.Pepper, wendy's #2 combos with no onions, Mcdonalds Big Mac combos, Taco Bell five layer burritos and nachos with cheese, waffle house all star breakfasts, No Xploid workout drinks, steak cooked rare, Little debbie cakes, baked chicken in dales seasoning, baby spinach salads with low fat Italian dressing, baby carrots , cucumbers, and burritos with beans, beef, cheese, sourcream, and salsa. I used to workout all the time but that was like 3 months ago. O yes let me add I did a 45 drunken spell and still drink 1-2 times a week. I think my diet is similar to that of pro bass master.

 

Tell me more about "a 45 drunken spell" and are you under that type of spell now?

 

It happened shortly after i sold my bike. It was a 45 day drunk fest not something i planned it just happened. No i am not drunk however I have been inside for 3 days doing nothing because of bad weather, so i maybe crazy. Selling a bike is similar to selling you child don't do it!!!

 

If failure comes before success, I must be preparing for a vast array of fame and fortune.

 

I think the fumes are getting to him!

 

A buddy was getting oral from his girlfriend. He dropped a huge wet greasy onion ring fart right in her face. She did not miss a beat....now THAT's a keeper!!!

 

Does she have a sister?

 

Is her mom a MILF?

 

Went out with a girl friend of mine had some Hibaichi. Asked to make sure no onions were with my meal. Of course they served my meal with onions which means it was cooked with them. i picked the onions out and just the little bit of juice that was cooked in made me super Farty. I wonder if what happens if you never let a fart out?

 

kaBOOM!!!!

 

Your head might explode from the pressure.

 

Or do a 'Mr. Creosote' from The Meaning of Life.

 

The best fart is when you spend the night with a chick the first time in a small apartment and you cant fart until you leave the next day. I had non stop fart one time after a night like this so long i swear it could have fueled a top full dragster for at least 2 passes.

 

you guys have me in tears!!! lol

 

Glad to oblige, on such a fvcking dreary day.

 

I was at a good friend's house shooting some pool. We had been drinking beer for hours. The friend is 49 and im probably 21 at the time. Anyway so We are shooting a game off nine ball and he all the sudden is like OMG my stomach oh oh no crap. He sharts while we are playing pool wearing a pair of blue jeans. He bolts up the stairs to his bathroom waddling like a pengiun. I start uncontrollably laughing moving around the pool table as im laughing holding my stomaching bending down i notice i was standing in his poop.

 

Hair of the dog. Eat beans, beans, and more beans. Then smile alone.

http://www.ladyofthecake.com/mel/saddles/sounds/fart2.wav