Specifically an Alligator Snapping Turtle. I mean I've picked up softies, box, painted etc. But I never effed with the Alligator. I saw one crossing the road today. Alligator Snapper. Not a Common Snapper. The prehistoric fker with the big head and jaws. I stopped to give it time and I really wanted to pick it up. I didn't eff with it. Hope it's ok.
grab it by the tail, move it off the road in the direction it was traveling. job done. stop being a pansy. Ski
If you can find a decent sized stick, poke them in the snout and they'll latch onto it. Then just drag them little dinosaurs off to the side.
I passed by a monster turtle a week or three back. It was trying to cross the road and I only saw him once I was almost past him. About the size of a manhole cover. Some one must have moved him 'cause he wasn't there when I came back and he wasn't smashed.
When you do pick one up, make sure you hold it at arms length. First time I tried to help one, the little emmeffer pissed all over me. No good deed......
Tail is not a good place as it could cause injury. Pick it up by the back of its shell as far back as possible.
It's weird because Alligator Snapping turtles aren't suppose to be around here. But this dude had the big ridges in his back and much bigger head than the common variety. He didn't look right! (And yes, turtle is delicious.)
"So, I'm at starsmucks and there's a giant snapping turtle ordering a Venti mochachino with soy and double foam. . . what's my move?" Trying to pick up a snapping turtle: "What's a snapping turtle like you doing in a place like this?"