Dropped my egg roll into the toilet

I saw the Wayfarers reference in the other thread and thought it was some kind of Eagles reference, God I hate the Eagles. Glad I cleared this up. Great stories.

BTW: Don Henley must die! Kill him now, before he gets back with Glenn Frey.

 

I work with a fellur named Errol. Korean lady cant say his name,and calls him Egroll,so does everyone else now.

Dave.. You're peckings of the keys are beautiful!! Pure poetry!

 

Your.

 

One thing I can so far give credit to the organizers of these lacrosse tournaments (other than the opportunity to win a set of ray bans in a real life game of skill crane) is they keep the port-a-thrones immaculate.
I was proud to go sit on my throne of plastic with my lacrosse trident and be king of all I surveyed (which was a door of plastic but still, I ruled it a stern hand).

 

I realize I'm late to the party but I only made it this far before I busted out laughing at my desk and then had to nonchalantly go back to looking like I was working

 

Frey is already room temp.

 

I know...it's from an old Mojo Nixon song.

 

Hey Papa, took my kid up to practice tonight and had to run out before hitting the head so after she got out, I went to the port-o-john. As I'm throwing a wiz in the side trough I start hearing an iphone ring. I reach into my pocket and feel mine. Not vibrating so it ain't me. So I look around the plastic castle and nothing. Still hear the ringing. F@ck, I must have a tumor or I'm having a stroke!

Nope, I decided to look down the hole (never look down the hole!!!!) and there it was! A what must have been new iphone perched majestically on a mountain of brown ass gravy, lit up and ringing. I got time to kill so let's see what happens. It would ring 4 or 5 times, vibrate the colon lava and ripple the sea of blue water, cut out and a few seconds later it'd start ringing.

So I left the blue poo kingdom wishing I has peed on it but my tank was empty and there was a woman running around, freaking out. She was with a dude and He was dialing his phone, she'd run to a port-o-john and listen.

I walked over to the dude, pointed to the one I came out of and let him know where it was.

"Thanks man, but let me keep doing this and don't tell her where it is? She loses one every few months and I want to make her work a bit."

 

I know right? I'm like wtf?

 

But... what about the bucket in the trash?....

 

Uh, as a fellow Eagles detractor, how can you not be aware that Frey died? They only played every fucking Eagles song back to back to back to back to back to back for three months.

Never before had I wished to be in a coma.

 

And well shit. I just read the follow-up, but I ain’t editing or deleting my post. Fuck you, I own it!

 

It was a bucket, new, in the trash. A giant bucket of deep fryer whatever, the deep fryer stuff in a plastic bag in a bucket. A brand new bucket in the trash!!!!

I grew up cheap (not poor but Pennsylvanian) , a pack rat and waste nothing and it still kills me to waste anything. A brand new bucket. . . it actually still annoys me that I didn't grab it, 2 years on. Gawd!

 

You know if you drop the turd wrong, it can make the piss/turd/Hiroshima fluid splash right up into your butthole

 

Just gahdamn.

 

I haven’t read the posts that followed this one but my first thought was how did Metalhead hack Dave’s login?

 

You could have fished out the shades, but, then you might have been completely disappointed to find out that they weren’t Ray Bans and they were actually Rav Bans that we’re haggled down to $15 on Canal St.
Double disappointment when you bite your fingernails and find a morsel that you missed when you washed your hands after you went dump-ster diving.

 

Or had a scratched lense. Lol.