I just cussed out a preacher. Am I going to hell?

Was outside just messing around out in the driveway a few minutes ago. This yougerish dude come walking up the driveway with leaflets in his hand. I muttered under my breath "fuck, now I gotta run this sumbitch off".
Dude was like "I'm so and so from the blah blah church and we're having vacation bible school for the young folks in the area. Do you have grandkids?"
I was like "NO MOTHER FUCKER I AIN'T GOT GRANDKIDS. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE FUCKING GRANDKIDS!?"

Dude bailed. Once I realized what I had done I went after him apologizing and laughing going "WAIT! You just caught me off guard!"

He kept going. Looking over his shoulder.

I felt bad.

The end.

 

You better start wearing asbestos underwear, because you're going to hell

 

Dude caught me off guard. I mean TECHNICALLY I'm old enough to be a grandad but, I don't look it. Shit pissed me off.

 

Just attend the bible school.

 

Feel no more guilty than when a telemarketer bothers you on the phone....it's about the same thing.

You knock on my door unwelcomed or uninvited, you get what you get.

 

You boys could use a little churchin' up.

 

Good for you for running him off . It’s time to stop perpetrating this nonsense

 

Just let him touch your pee-pee and all will be forgiven, my son

 

"Yougerish?"

 

You meant your ticket to hell just got a first class upgrade

 

Just dawned on me .. this is not the Dungeon

 

Reality is a bitch.

 

^^^^ Indeed, God seems to think otherwise about your looks...

 

I see a name change to Grandpa.

 

there's no such thing as heaven and hell. you just made him question his faith

 

[insert dungeon content], so no, you aren't/can't.

 

Some guy wandering your neighborhood, stalking for children to groom? Yeah, that’s not creepy.

 

Man o man. I've got one of the worst priest stories but I wont share on a public forum. Buy me a beer and I'll tell you.

I'm going straight to hell.

 

Dogs were raising hell the other day, looked out the shop door to see a truck down at my house, walked down to see some mid 30's guy walking around looking confused.."can i help you with something, I suppose you missed the No Trespassing sign?"....ah is this 3023?? NO, it isn't . ahhh do the dogs bite...?? sometimes....ahhh the GPS says this is where I am suppose to be....DUDE..this is not where you are suppose to be Trust me..ahhh I am glad the dogs didn't bite me....DUDE...be glad I didn't shoot you...Read the sign on your WAY OUT THE DRIVE....GeezusFuckingKristo.
He was mumbling something on his way to the truck...he still seemed confused about where he was...Truck was marked with large PestControl Logos..LOL...he should have treated himself...Fucking Pest.
End of Story.

 

Don't sweat it...I will put some PBR in with the Dew in the cooler...