Fear switch broken???

So I've been thinking about this since last Saturday. Most of you know I was paralyzed in a racing crash back in 2013. Last year I picked up handcycling. I've been getting stronger and faster since last summer. While out on a ride last Saturday on a very familiar greenway trail I had a rear tire fail around a tight 25 mph curve. This caused my handcycle to roll and I got major road rash on my left arm. This was the 4th time around the same turn that very day. I knew the pavement was excellent and clean. The tire that failed only had 63 miles on it and inflated to the perfect psi. There have been some other reported sidewall failures of this exact tire on internet forums. While I was crashing, I had zero fear. Only thought was "well this sucks". I've thought back on all my crashes or near crashes and the word fear never enters into the equation. The most scared I've been is when I've seen a friend crash or nearly crash. It's making me think hard about my mental attitude when it comes to all things that have wheels. My self preservation switch seems to not be present which is a bad thing. I need to respect physics more. I'm not sure how to turn that switch on but I really need to. I can't keep abusing my body. Thoughts? Do I need to see psychologist? Anybody else relate to this?

 

I don’t think that’s too abnormal.

Fear has never entered the equation during the incident. I’ve never been one to freeze up or panic. Fear always comes before, or well after when I see myself getting into a similar situation.

 

It's called 'living'.


Sometimes living hurts. At some point living will stop. Might as well enjoy it.

 

That is amazingly profound, MH.

 

I never feared crashing until I had a string of 4-5 crashes in a short period of time (few months). I wasn't hurt, but it was enough for me to say, OK that's enough of that. Now, I really do not want to crash again. Not afraid, but no desire.

 

Whats the wife say when you come home rashed up...again?
I'm only asking,because unless she has that lust for life,I could see you getting yelled at a lot.
I think its great your getting on wheels again,just hope your staying relatively safe to continue,
without trashing your body

 

Divorce was finalized last year. Currently living alone in a house I had built to meet my needs and make life easier. I guess maybe I'm finally growing up after 50 years and realizing that getting hurt kinda sucks. I think about this now but when I'm out there doing the activity I just don't think about getting hurt and that is a bad thing.

 

It’s likely your reaction to the Adrenalin dump. No reason to panic in the thick of it, there is time to clean your shorts later - right now you fight.

It’s why so many people who race - and work in emergency services - all have similar feelings in scary situations. Afraid while crashing? Ain’t nobody got time for that. My thought during my get off was “whelp, I’m fucked.” Then I looked for obstacles I was going to hit and tried to avoid them.

People without the panick button - need to use logic before they get into those situations

 

I don’t think its something you can learn “out of” it’s just the way your (we’re) wired.

 

Damn Joe..Sorry
I never met ya,but followed you since before your accident.I had remembered you mentioning the wife in the past.
Just enjoy getting out,but don't beat yourself beyond any mobility.Im coming up on one year since my accident.
Never healed up fully,but that's part of getting older,and breaking the same shit several times over.
Glad you only got some rash.Stay safer!!

 

I'm the same way. I don't know what it is. I learn from crashing. I guess that causes apprehension later.

 

In my crashes, fear of crashing never existed. More it was kind of like you and Caustic Yarn said "well, this is going to suck".

Fear for me comes from the unknown, like feeling I have no control in a situation, or don't understand what's happening.

When I understand what's happening and why, even when I have temporarily lost control, the feeling/thought has always been, "how can I minimize the damage".

Perhaps a path forward is to better understand/evaluate risk, and choose a path that does not contain quite as much risk?

 

If you had that fear switch like other people do you’d never have picked up racing motorcycles as a fun thing to do in the first place. I don’t think you can turn it off. All you can do is use your brain and manage your risk as best as possible when you do dangerous shit. If you inspected your tire for damage, bought the right tire in the first place, pumped it to the right pressure, and weren’t excessively stressing it then it’s just serendipity. Only thing you could do to avoid it is not take any risk in the first place. Who wants that though? Unless you can find something lower risk to scratch that itch you’ll just be unhappy if you give up the higher risk stuff.

 

Well this is normal for people who do sports.
You know reason of crash so case closed on it.
I have a buddy who is wheel chair pilot.
After his dirt bike accident only thing he wanted was to stop looking at the ceiling of hospital and get on with his life.
I do have to say that he did better than i would have in his situation.
We set up his house and garage so he could be independent and work on his race cars.
He bought a drag Camaro and we did that till he sold car.
I found out later he felt guilty cause i was always working and helping him with car.
I built him a swingarm with twin bike shocks and seat set up for his 4 wheeler so he could blast through the woods with us on dirt bikes.
It always amazes me that he dont let anything slow him down..
I felt like a Dad having to tell his ass to cover his legs when welding so he dont burn them.
When a set of problems present him he just adapts or we make something cool so he needs no one for help.
Im truly blessed to have him as a freind.
When im down and pissed off i just think what a pussy im being and solve it.
Lol.
As he told me when i was bitching about the holes in firewall of race car and saying we need a fire extinguisher system so if it catches fire he wont get burned.
He goes trust me my ass is getting out.
Lol.
He always tells whats the worse than can happen now?
So he built a 55 chevy with twin turbo 6.0 motor and he is tuning it now after a 2 yr build.
He remarried to the most wonderful woman and he built his shop for his toys and nothing slows him down.
And you sound just like him.
So id say you got this.
Get a new tire and go have fun.
May i suggest a jacket for road rash.
Lol
Take care Sir

Steven

 

I've never had fear while crashing. My emotions have run the gamut from anger at being a dumbass to laughing at lowsiding because I was being a dumbass to thinking (during my big 'un that resulted in my one and only ride in a helicopter) whilst it was happening that "man, this is gonna suck", but never scared of the outcome. Not sure that says anything about me personally, but speaks more to the human condition that mid-moment there's just no time to be scared.

 

I'm like Caustic, don't seem to worry about it till afterwards, racing bicycles, motorcycles, class V whitewater made me pucker a time or two but the best days I was just picking a line and running it without another thought. Same thing covering shootings, fires, etc, more than once I've warned firefighters about overhead fires or downed lines, while I was photographing them. I'm just wearing cotton too, no turnouts.

 

Yep. Too busy playing George of the Jungle while tumbling to be scared.

After that, it's game on for shitting oneself at the calamity that just ensued.

 

No need to be sorry. I'm happier after the divorce. Turns out the wheelchair isn't really a problem with women either. Sure, some will stay away but those are the shallow ones I don't have time for anyways. The chair doesn't define me, it's just a mobility tool to get around. Yea, it sucks at times but ya gotta work with what you have.

 

I've never felt fear during a slide or tumble. I did however on my last motorcycle accident, which was on the street, run the thought that I might die. As soon as I hit the road and was sliding I immediately came to the realization that there was going to be an impact and that I could easily be killed. But it ran through my mind in a very unemotional way. Not fearful, not panic...just kind of a helpless, weird calmness. I will never forget that and how afterwards I even thought about my state of mind at that moment. I have never had anything close to that same experience but only that one time.