OK, Fine. TSA wins.

It occurred to me today that the TSA won without me even realizing it. Dudes are always gonna dress like dudes - business suits, jeans, cell phone belt clips, polo shirts. No change there. But, wimmen.

The ladies have gotten more and more casual for their security evaluations. Chicks show up at the airport in tank tops and pajamas, or yoga pants, or the newer fad - just tights. Hell, they don't even bother with the thong anymore. They know you can tell, and they don't care cuz they get strip searched by the nudie machine anyway.

Well done, TSA. (Well, in some cases)

I'm stuck in Minneapolis Airport and I'm bored. People watching.

 

Until you're flying out of Orlando and you're wondering why they make size 24 yoga pants...

 

The hawt ones aren't the ones dressing like that. It's the hamburger in the pants that dress like that.

I hate flying,

 

Orlando is one of the airports I hate flying in/out of the most. Everything is in slow motion or doesn't speak English.

 

While you're in MN, ya may as well take Putter out for dinner. He'll put a tie on for ya.

 

I got 3 good ones at the gate with me. It don't count that we're in Minneapolis, cuz they're probably from Nashville. I don't think they make'em like that up here.

 

I'd argue that's the worst airport in the US. Parents who travel once a decade with their 8 shitting and snotting kids. The worst business travelers who have no common sense. Foreigners. Old people who were old in the 1970s. Mouth breathers who somehow got hired by TSA.

SFO is even better. Vegas is better. Shit, even American at LAX beats it.

 

I'm probably going to hell for this, but there's a woman that looks a bit like Martina Navratilova who has a "I heart Beef" tag on her luggage. I love the potential for irony.

 

God, Dave, I hate arriving into SFO...

International travel is what it is. But when you put your bags in the overhead in Biz/First, then have a Biz/First ticket home from SFO, and you have to check your bag because the TSA person says so - nevermind the airline policy... It's happened several times, so I stop goign to the 'Arrival Lounge' (when I'd have to reenter Domestic through security) and go instead to the 'First Class Lounge' and take my shower there. Why? Well, it has booze - important on Saturday Morning after a Friday Night flight - and it has showers.

Maybe SFO doesn't suck so much if you figure it out...

No pretty-lady in loose clothing views. Only pretty-lady dressed to the hilt views, which is fine, I just wanna get through the damned airport, yanno?

 

The trick to SFO and LAX domestic is fly United and have at least gold status. At LAX everyone flys American or Delta and the United terminal is deserted. SFO you need trusted traveler, United and gold. that will save you at least 45 minutes.

Another trick for LAX is fly Jet Blue into long beach.

 

I was talkin about fine wimmenz in tight clothing and y'all are arguin over who's airport sucks the most? We're gettin old, ain't we?

 

The meatbags in their juicy pants are common as $9 beers at the airport. I don't even notice them anymore.

Want to people watch? Go to GRU and sit there for a few hours.

 

NEVER fly AA in/out of LAX. Even with status, you'll be in TSA hell for a long ass time. I try to fly Virgin America as often as possible and since they don't share a terminal with a big domestic, security is almost always quick. If you have status on VA, it's almost instant.

 

See lots just wearing flannel PJ bottoms and tank tops anymore, especially on Fridays.

 

I would but don't wanna get beheaded. I like my head, even if its ugly.

 

Speaking of beheading, my "oh shit" schedule is coming up for 2013.

 

you've obviously never flown out of ATL... I'll take Olando over that crap any day

 

I flew USAir out of Orlando. I rather lose a finger than do that again.

 

ATL and DFW are cool if you have a 2 hr layover. If you are in a hurry, your f'd. I woyld do regionals, Love Field and Burbank e.g.. all the time but I hate the smaller jets. Some bastard always takes my front row joe.

 

You know where I live!

I can move through Atlanta pretty decently, especially now that they have the international terminal. It's not great, but hardly Orlando. I was being too nice to type it, but DaveK said it perfectly. If you get stuck behind grandparents taking their grandkids through security, you might as well just pull out your phone and book a later flight.