If your child is kidnapped

I was watching the news Friday (maybe Inside Edition - if you want to call that news) after work and they were doing a story on 'what to do if someone is trying to kidnap you'. They had a bit about the kidnapper putting you in the trunk of his car. The tip they gave was to rip out the brake light cables. This way, the car is 50% more likely to be pulled over by a police officer.

WHAT ABOUT THE 99% MORE LIKELY THAT YOU GET REAR ENDED AND KILLED

 

I guess that would be better than the slow and tortured death at the hands of a psycho....

 

I'd rather just pull the trunk release cable and wave at the cars behind.

 

Especially if the kidnapper takes you with them on a trip for milk and bread...



'sup?

 

I'd use the wires i ripped out to signal the drivers behind me with morse code... and while im at it, i'll use the took kit in the trunk to dig through the fire wall and floor boards so i can sneak out at the next red light.

Oh yea, what if im tied up? crap... foiled again

 

If your southern kidnapper is going for bread and milk, there's already a 99.5% chance you will crash and die as a result of the the slight dusting starting to form on the ground. Little does he know, the grocery stores are already cleaned out and you'll both die of starvation anyway.

Lesson: if you are kidnapped by a southerner and it is snowing, find something sharp in the trunk and end it quickly.


EDIT: oh yeah

 

Oh yeah, like anyone knows Morse code these days. Most people would just think it was custom bling flashing in time to the sound system.

 

well, better idea is to kick out a rear light, and wave (that is assuming that you are not tied or out from the fumes)



and we all know what you do when you assume! lol

 

everyone knows - - - _ _ _ - - -

 

you'd be surprised

 

Don't cars now come with mandatory escape latches? I know my Toyota has a neon colored release handle inside the trunk. (I know this doesn't help on older cars, but you'd think they'd mention that. . ."

Besides - who is going to throw you in a trunk with your hands free??

 

I'm just giving kesler a hard time.

or is the other way around

 

Mongo, we were on our way to play U of South Carolina in baseball when 11inches of snow were dumped on I-77 right outside of Charlotte... There were so many accidents that they closed the highway forced traffic to stop... took over 12 hours to get us going again...

Snow + anything lower than the mason dixon = disaster... just call in fema and start handing out the 2000 dollars credit cards

 

Hey, here in snow country, people drive like crap too. They forget that ABS does not make you stop any quicker, that 4 wheel drive does you no good when stopping on ice, and the best one, bigger does not mean better when it comes to winter driving.

Oh, and if you threw me into the trunk of a car, I'd do like Rocky and make DaveK stop for KFC.

 

I know, I ran into a similar situation in Quebec

 

Well yeah, but you're talking citified dipshits there. Get out in the country where us hicks live and we know how to drive in snow. (Well the half that aren'tputting on their makeup, talking on the cell phone, combing their hair and lighting a cigarette at the same time).