Legend of the BloodNinja

[Chip@KWS]

It's old......but man this is funny.......enjoy!!!



bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
-------------------

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

--------------

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something


Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Sarah19fca: you like that?
Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

---------------

Bloodninja:Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate:Who are you?
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja:Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate:Umm...Yes
DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja:How did you know?
Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate:What the f**k?
DirtyKate:You perverted piece of s**t
DirtyKate:F**k

------------------

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an ****?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
MommyMelissa: whatever.



------------------



Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
Partner6: It likes that.
J-Dogg: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only fuck women...
J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dipshit.
J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.

[Chip@KWS]

------------------



J-Dogg: I see you in line at the supermarket. Our eyes meet.
Partner8: Who the fuck are you?
J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion:
J-Dogg: Fuck me, Fuck me.
J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this moment to last forever.
Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me?
J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops. I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge that forms in your thigh.
Partner8: Is that like cancer?
J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy.
Partner8: Good one romeo.
J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. you tihink it must be taking over your mind, theres nothing else you can think of. My tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku.
The salmon swim at night.
Towards your room.
The snow and the moon.
Partner8: that was never a haiku.
J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex. Withought my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness.
Partner8: That made even less sense than your "haiku"
J-Dogg: So you ready to fuck then?
Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of my underwear, and your spent.
J-Dogg: ...
Partner8: ?
J-Dogg: I'm spent.



------------------



Jdogg:Hey
QT-Pie:Hey
Jdogg:whats goin on
QT-Pie:Nothing. Who are you?
Jdogg:Jdogg. Wanna cyber?
QT-Pie:what does that mean?
Jdogg:what are you wearing?
QT-Pie:T-shirt. Jeans.
Jdogg:Garter belt?
QT-Pie:Ummm...no.
Jdogg:Are we gonna cyber or not?
QT-Pie: uh, okay.
Jdogg:Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.
Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your pussy stink from here.
QT-Pie: WHAT?!
Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
Jdogg:You leave everything to jdogg.
Jdogg:I am completely inside of you. You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play.
QT-Pie:This is weird. I should go.
Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
QT-Pie: A stripe?
Jdogg: I need a sandwich.
QT-Pie: You're a freak.
Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.



------------------



Girl: Hi
Boy: hello
Boy: who is this?
Girl: just a someone?
Boy: A someone I know?
Girl: nope
Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
Girl: well sorrrrrry
Girl: I just wanted to chat with you
Boy: why?
Girl: nevermind your an asshole
Boy: Hey wait a minute
Girl: yes?
Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
Girl: paranoid?
Boy: yes
Girl: of what?
Girl: me?
Boy: No. I'm in hiding.
Girl: LOL
Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me!
Boy: This shit is serious!
Girl: What are you hiding from?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: gimme a fucking break
Boy: I'm serious.
Girl: I don't get it
Boy: The cops are after me.
Girl: For what?
Boy: I'm wanted in three states
Girl: For???
Boy: It's kindof embarrasing.
Boy: I had sex with a turkey.
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You are fucking sick.
Boy: Send me your picture.
Girl: why?
Boy: so I know you aren't one of them.
Girl: One of what?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: I'm not a cop i told you
Boy: Then send me your picture.
Girl: hold on
Boy: Hurry up.
Boy: Are you there?
Boy: fuck you, cop!
Girl: Hey sorry
Girl: I had to do something for my mom.
Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Boy: Weren't you!?
Girl: thats not it
Boy: Then what?
Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
Boy: Most cops aren't
Girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD!
Boy: Then send me the picture.
Girl: fine. What's your e-mail?
Boy: Just send it through here.
Girl: alright *PIC*
Girl: Did you get it?
Boy: Hold on. I'm looking.
Girl: That was me back in may
Girl: I've lost weight since then.
Boy: I hope so
Girl: what?!?
Girl: that hurt my feelings.
Boy: Did it?
Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
Girl: yes
Boy: Alright let me find it.
Girl: kks
Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC*
Girl: this isn't you.
Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't!
Girl: You don't look like that.
Boy: How the hell do you know?
Girl: cause your profile has another picture.
Boy: The profile pic is a fake.
Boy: I use it to hide from the cops.
Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Boy: Not to mention all the groceries.
Girl: Go fuck yourself
Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture
Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
Girl: You've done nothing but slam me.
Girl: you hurt me.
Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me!
Boy: Why would I do that?
Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you
Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
Girl: FUC YOU!!!
Boy: You'd break both of his legs.
Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole.
Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
Boy: Ok. I'm sorry.
Girl: No you aren't
Boy: You're right. I'm not.
Boy: HAARRRRR!
Girl: I'm done with you
Boy: Aww. I'm sorry.
Girl: I'm putting you on ignore
Boy: Wait a sec
Boy: We got off on the wrong foot.
Boy: Wanna start over?
Girl: No
Boy: I'll eat your pussy
Girl: You'll what?
Boy: You heard me.
Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy.
Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Boy: Well I'm not like most men.
Boy: I get excited in different ways.
Girl: Like what?
Boy: Do you really wanna know?
Girl: I don't know
Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.
Girl: I'm afraid to
Boy: Why?
Girl: cause
Boy: cause why?
Girl: well lets see
Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Boy: Nope
Girl: well its strange to me
Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
Girl: I didn't say that
Boy: So is that a yes?
Girl: I guess so.
Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Boy: Are you willing?
Girl: What do you need me to do?
Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.
Girl: ???
Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Boy: ok?
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You can't be serious
Boy: Oh yes I am!
Boy: It's my fantasy.
Girl: this is retarded
Boy: Do you want it or not?
Girl: Yes I want it.
Boy: Then you'll do it for me?
Girl: sure
Boy: Ok. Here we go.
Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
Girl: mmmm yeah
Boy: uh oh ...going limp.
Girl: Har
Boy: You gotta do better than that!
Boy: Your picture was really bad.
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
Girl: mmmmmm you are good
Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Boy: going limp
Girl: HARRRRRRR
Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.
Boy: going limp
Girl: this is stupid
Boy: ...still limp
Boy: Do it!
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
Girl: WTF?!?!?
Boy: They stink really bad.
Girl: OMG STOP!!!
Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Boy: I ram it up your ass.
Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
Boy: I kick you in the face!
Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Boy: Your parrot flys away.
Boy: ...going limp again.
Boy: Hello?
Boy: Say it!
Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

:D

[dtalbott]

Great.

Now my boss wants to know why I'm laughing so much. :D

Thank you, Chip! I needed that!

[oldguy]

I'm thinking this is going to be a looooooong winter!

[650 RACER]

I can't handle it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is some of the funniest shit I have ever read:clap::beer:

[ruckusracing]

I can't believe that stupid chick said HHAAARRRR. ROTFLMAO My chest hurts and tears are pouring down my face...that is some of the funniest crap I have read....just the remote possibility that it is real makes it even funnier.

Awsome post Chip

[DDK732]

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: KICK ASS! :clap: :clap: :clap:

thats better than some of my cyber encounters! lol;)

[Chip@KWS]

one more.........:clap:

mikep400: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black leather
mini skirt and high heeled boots. I am tanned and very buffed. I
workout everyday. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

mikep400: I'm 6'3 and about 250 lb. I wear glasses and have on a pair
of blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I'm also wearing an old
T-shirt, it's got some barbecue sauce stains on it and it smells kind
of funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

mikep400: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the
stereo and candles on my nightstand. I look up into your eyes and I'm
smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and I begin to feel
your huge swelling bulge.

mikep400: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

mikep400: Now, I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

mikep400: I'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm sliding it softly off.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides
off of my warm body. I'm rubbing your bulge faster now, rubbing and
pulling.

mikep400: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in your
blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's, OK. It wasn't really too expensive.

mikep400: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy black bra, my soft
breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and harder.

mikep400: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it's stuck.
Do You have scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly, I reach behind my back
and undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air caresses my
breasts, my nipples are erect for you.

mikep400: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting
the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby, I just want to feel your
tongue all over me.

mikep400: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know,
breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling
your ear.

mikep400: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and
phlegm.

Sweetheart: WHAT?

mikep400: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the remains
of my blouse.

mikep400: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse from you and throwing it
in the corner of the room.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your hard
tool.

mikep400: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

mikep400: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in
and out and nibbling on you. ummm, wait a second.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

mikep400: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

mikep400: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?

mikep400: I'm running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking for a
cup. Where do you keep your cups??

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink!

mikep400: I'm drinking a cup of water. There that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

mikep400: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.

mikep400: Now I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it back in the cabinet.
And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait it's dark, I'm lost.
Where is the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

mikep400: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.

mikep400: Me too.

Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed against
each other.

mikep400: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take your glasses off?

mikep400: OK. But I can't see very well. I'm placing my glasses on the
nightstand.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!

mikep400: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly to the bathroom

Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.

mikep400: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the
toilet and lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

mikep400: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle.
Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

mikep400: I just realized I peed in your laundry hamper. Sorry again.
I'm walking back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.

mikep400: Now I'm going to put my, you know, thing in your umm, woman's
thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!

mikep400: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. Ma'am, I'm
having a little problem here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth. I can't wait another
second. Slide it in! Screw me!

mikep400: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: WHAT?

mikep400: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on
my face.

mikep400: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all
floppy. I'm looking for my glasses to see what the problem is.

Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I'm getting dressed, I'm putting on my
underwear and my wet nasty blouse.

mikep400: No wait. I can't find the night table. I'm reaching across
the dresser, knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture frames and
your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. I'm putting on my shoes.

mikep400: Now I've found my glasses. My God! One of your candles fell
on the curtain! The curtain is on fire. I'm pointing at it with a
shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, LOSER!

mikep400: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo

[650 RACER]

Got any more?
:D

[G Dawg]

Holy shite!!!!
That sounds like my chatroom:eek:

[jigmoore]

o.................m....................g.......... .........


hand down, funniest post since i've been on here.

can't stop laughing.......


no kidding that is funny as c.r.a.p.

[cedestech1]

Damit!

I am laughing so hard I woke my wife up.

Way to go.

[gixer1100]

FUUNNY as hell!!

[ScottyRock155]

If that is old I missed it the first time around. That is some of the funnies shit ever.


HARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[Jackie Chiles]

Chip, where did you find this stuff????????????

[Putter]

And find some more. :cool:

[jigmoore]

....




















hours later...............















still gigglin'

[BlueNun]

I've laughed so hard my gut hurts, thanks, I needed that.:)

[bmfgsxr]

that is funny shit bro.:D

[guerrilla]

:clap:

guerrilla: that was so funny I'm wiping the tear from my eye.

[Dozer228]

oh my goodness....that was some of the most hilarious shat i've ever read!!! :clap:

Thanks Chip! :beer:

[GixxerBlade]

I.F.: You ready yet? Im bearing to go!

SexyKarla17: Yhea im slipping out of my clothes right now, what do you look like?

I.F.: a Kodiac bear

SexyKarla17: ?

I.F.: Im soft naked, fuzzy and waiting for you to come mount me

SexyKarla17: Oh I love cute fuzzy bears, I walk up and get on top of you stroking your soft hair, kissing you gently as my move my way down your stomach

I.F.: I growl to warm you my cubs are near

SexyKarla17: huh?

I.F.: Bears get fuckin pumped when anyone is near their cubs
Sexkarla17: yhea hehe dont be silly..

SexyKarla17: I love how you growl as I continue to kiss you, while taking off your pants.

I.F.: Bears dont wear pants and you should cover yourself in Honey now

SexyKarla17: hehe you would love to lick that off me huh. I pour honey all over my warm wet body waiting for you to start licking it off me slowly

I.F.: I sniff the air to see where the sweet scent of the honey is coming from, while slowly snorting and walking towards you
I.F.: I Growl again, and start to bite you

SexyKarla17: Yhea that feels good..ooooo...not too hard now

I.F.: I bite harder peeling flesh from your stomach, and look up into your eyes to show you my mouth dripping with your warm blood mixed with honey, I then I let my cubs rip apart your limbs and play with you like a ragdoll.

SexyKarla17: what the fuck?

I.F.:uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh and im spent.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I.F.: My shit is hard you ready to jump aboard?

1hOttYeVe: oh yhea im so wet right now

I.F.: Why you just shower?

1hOttYeVe: no im wet for you

I.F.: Did you ever play with supersoakers when you were a kid? or that gator shit you would dive and slide down, there was that badass pool at the end of it.

1hOttYeVe: What the fuck are you talking about? You wanna cyber or not?

I.F.: I do! Sorry...I just didnt know why you were wet...then you say your wet for me, and im thinking I didnt even throw water on you...

I.F.: Im sorry lets continue!

1hOttYeVe: alright then...I walk over to you and start kissing your neck and chest

I.F.: I pop like 16 boners

1hOttYeVe: what the fuck!

I.F.: what?

[Putter]

I.F.: Why you just shower?


:D

[650 RACER]

I can't beleive it. It never gets old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

more - more

:clap:

[smooth]

some of the funniest shit ever!!!

Thanks, guys




:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

[dtalbott]

From http://www.goyk.com/text.asp?id=135


hotstud69: Hello there
blondebabe4u: Hi
hotstud69: What is your name?
blondebabe4u: Sandy, urs?
hotstud69: Bob, nice to meet you.. what are you doing tonight?
blondebabe4u: Nothing, just chatting, u?
hotstud69: not too much, just sitting around... what are you wearing?
blondebabe4u: oh just my thong and a tank top.
hotstud69: oh wow, I would love to see that, what do you look like?
blondebabe4u: I am 5'6" blonde hair, green eyes, 120 lbs, you?
hotstud69: i am 6'0" 175, brown hair, blue eyes, and tan
blondebabe4u: you sound very handsome
hotstud69: how about I pull that tank top off?
blondebabe4u: Oh Bob, i would love for you too....
hotstud69: Oh yea, those look great... they feel nice too
blondebabe4u: yes bob, my 36D's like that, you are good
hotstud69: oh yes, they feel so good, I am squeezing them..
blondebabe4u: yes bob, you know what you are doing.
hotstud69: Oh yea, I am getting so excited
blondebabe4u: need me to help you there Bob
hotstud69: oh yea, let me unzip for you
blondebabe4u: oh wow bob, you have a nice one
hotstud69: OH SHIT
blondebabe4u: What?
hotstud69: SON OF A BITCH!!!
blondebabe4u: whats wrong?
hotstud69: Got it stuck in the zipper...
blondebabe4u: What?
hotstud69: oh god, I am bleeding.....
blondebabe4u: bob, are you ok?
hotstud69: OMG... OMG...
blondebabe4u: Bob??
hotstud69: I am feeling faint... blood everywhere...
blondebabe4u: are you ok?
hotstud69: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!
blondebabe4u: what bob what??
hotstud69: IT FEEL OFF!!!!!!!!!!!
blondebabe4u: fell off?
hotstud69: it is on the floor, laying there... I am looking at it, damn, thought it would be bigger.........
blondebabe4u: call an abulance...
hotstud69: I can't
blondebabe4u: why
hotstud69: Because I am on the computer
blondebabe4u: well get off
hotstud69: the last time tried to get off, my dick fell off........
blondebabe4u: bob??
blondebabe4u: bob??
blondebabe4u: bob??
hotstud69: has left the room

[Buckwild]

*Snip*[i]

I.F.: I pop like 16 boners

1hOttYeVe: what the fuck!

I.F.: what? [/B] *snip*

LMAO!!!!!!!

[RacerGirl117]

You guys need help. I'm putting you ALL on ignore! ;)

[Putter]

Oh man, check out the website Darrin posted! I am laughin so friggen hard right now.........:D

[G Dawg]

Originally posted by putter
Oh man, check out the website Darrin posted! I am laughin so friggen hard right now.........:D Wow sex with a turkey:p Arrrggggg

[Putter]

Originally posted by Expert 317
Wow sex with a turkey:p Arrrggggg

It's stupid and childish.


I love it! :p

[Putter]

One for Gary.

http://www.goyk.com/pics/images/16[1].jpg

[G Dawg]

Originally posted by putter
One for Gary.

http://www.goyk.com/pics/images/16[1].jpg No friggin way that's not photoshop:eek:

[gobabygo]

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?


<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"


<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.

<LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder
<LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed
<LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
<LordChewy> "i know dad"
<LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?"
<LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:Documents and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
<LordChewy> and he just shut up
<kingKahn> what is it?
<LordChewy> its his porn folder

<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^

alot of other funny ones at:

http://www.bash.org/?top

[jigmoore]

let's bring her back around for another round....this one didn't get enough props first time around.

chip still rules in my book - best post ever.

[mango]

VictimX_27: Hi there!
cheesedog: HEYA!
VictimX_27: What u up 2?
cheesedog: Nice English.
cheesedog: Did you learn that on the short bus?
VictimX_27: Get fucked
cheesedog: I'm just joking relax
VictimX_27:
cheesedog: What's your name?
VictimX_27: Whats yours?
cheesedog: I asked you first.
VictimX_27: I asked you second
cheesedog: Did I time just warp to middle school?
VictimX_27: huh
cheesedog: Never mind. My name is Johnny
cheesedog: Johnny Cheesedog
VictimX_27: Thats not your real name
cheesedog: Why isn't that my real name?
VictimX_27: No one has the name Cheesedog as a last name
cheesedog: Well I do. Whats wrong with it?
VictimX_27: Nothin i suppose
VictimX_27: Is that your real pic in that av?
cheesedog: Yes it is
VictimX_27: Very handsome
cheesedog: Thanks
VictimX_27: You kinda look like eminem
cheesedog: Fuck you.
VictimX_27: HEY! I meant that in a good way
VictimX_27: I think eminem is hot!
cheesedog: Oh. You think I'm hot?
VictimX_27: Yeah
cheesedog: What do you look like?
cheesedog: Do you have a pic?
VictimX_27: I don't show my picture to anyone
cheesedog: Why not?
VictimX_27: Cause I'm ugly
cheesedog: I won't make fun of you
VictimX_27: Its not that. I just don't like my looks
cheesedog: So you have no self-esteem, huh?
cheesedog: Is that what you're saying?
VictimX_27: I just don't think I'm pretty
cheesedog: Let me be the judge of that.
VictimX_27: Nahhh
cheesedog: Then describe yourself.
VictimX_27: Why do u wanna know what I look like?
cheesedog: Because I think you're nice
cheesedog: I want to picture you in my head while I'm talking to you.
VictimX_27: LMAO!! You don't want 2 picture me. Trust me
cheesedog: Why not?
VictimX_27: I told you. I'm ugly.
cheesedog: Well... I think you're beautiful on the inside.
VictimX_27: You don't even know me
cheesedog: I'm a pretty good judge of character
VictimX_27: Then why do u need 2 see me?
cheesedog: I just wanted to know thats all
cheesedog: If you aren't comfortable with it... thats fine.
VictimX_27: You don't understand
cheesedog: Is it that bad?
VictimX_27: YESSSSS
cheesedog: Ok then. I'm gonna picture you as Weezy from the Jeffersons.
cheesedog: She is the bomb!
cheesedog: She makes me hot just thinking about her!
VictimX_27: Wheezy?
cheesedog: Yep. Weezy.
VictimX_27: Who is that?
cheesedog: George's wife.
VictimX_27: Who is george
cheesedog: George Jefferson. From the Jeffersons.
cheesedog: Are you fucking deaf?
VictimX_27: Who are the Jeffersons?
cheesedog: Oh lord. Here we go
VictimX_27: wut?
cheesedog: You don't know who the Jeffersons are?
VictimX_27: Should I?
cheesedog: Yes.
VictimX_27: Well I don't.
cheesedog: FISH DONT FRY IN THE KITCHEN! BEANS DONT BURN ON THE GREEEELL...
VictimX_27: huhhh?
cheesedog: TOOK A WHOOOOLE LOTTA LU UH VINNNN. JUST TO GET UP THAT HEEEELL
VictimX_27: Wut the hell are you saying?
cheesedog: Hold on a second
cheesedog: Here you go. *PIC*
VictimX_27: Thats her?
cheesedog: Yep
VictimX_27: I don't look anything like that
cheesedog: SHUT UP! You're ruining my fantasy!
VictimX_27: LOL. You're funny.
cheesedog: What's funny?
VictimX_27: u r
cheesedog: I'm glad I entertain you
VictimX_27: me 2
cheesedog: So if you don't look like Weezy, what do you look like?
VictimX_27: u don't give up do u?
cheesedog: Never
VictimX_27: I'm the exact opposite of her
cheesedog: ???
VictimX_27: I'm very white
cheesedog: Thats cool, my white anti-soul sista'
VictimX_27: LOL
cheesedog: I can dig white chicks too, I guess.
VictimX_27: I'm whiter than most
cheesedog: really?
VictimX_27: I'm an albino
cheesedog: a what?
VictimX_27: u don't know what that is?
cheesedog: I've heard the word before
VictimX_27: I have no pigment in my skin, eyes or hair
VictimX_27: So I'm all white
cheesedog: This is bullshit
VictimX_27: I'm serious!
VictimX_27: You've never seen an albino before?
cheesedog: No. Where do they live? Albinia?
VictimX_27: No, we live all over.
cheesedog: Then how come I've never seen any
VictimX_27: Lucky I suppose
cheesedog: Send me your picture. I wanna know what an albino looks like.
VictimX_27: I'll send you a picture of one but not me
cheesedog: Ok
VictimX_27: Here u go *PIC*
cheesedog: Whoa. Thats freaky
VictimX_27: See why I don't send my picture out?
cheesedog: there's nothing wrong with it.
cheesedog: It doesn't make you ugly
cheesedog: This chick is kind of hot actually.
VictimX_27: Thank u
cheesedog: No problem
cheesedog: Her, not you. I don't know what you look like.
VictimX_27: Are you gonna be on in 3 hours?
cheesedog: Yes
VictimX_27: I have to go to the mall with my sister
VictimX_27: Will you be here when I get back?
cheesedog: S ure. Then I'll sex you up.
VictimX_27: Gee thanks. LOL
cheesedog: I'm serious
VictimX_27: We'll see.
cheesedog: Yes we will.
VictimX_27: Bye for now!
cheesedog: Make sure you wear some sunscreen.
VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>

About 3 hours later...

VictimX_27: HEY!
cheesedog: Hello there
VictimX_27: I'm back
cheesedog: Have fun at the mall?
VictimX_27: Yeah. I got some new shoes
cheesedog: Interesting
VictimX_27: Not really. Just shoes
cheesedog: You ready to be sexed up now?
VictimX_27: LOL
cheesedog: Is that a yes?
VictimX_27: Could be
VictimX_27:
cheesedog: HOT DAMN!
cheesedog: I gently suck your nipples
cheesedog: I feel them get hard then I jam my hand down your..
VictimX_27: WOAH! Slow down cowboy
cheesedog: Why?
VictimX_27: I'm not just gonna cyber with you if thats all you want
cheesedog: What do you mean?
VictimX_27: You're not going to ignore me later are you?
cheesedog: Of course not.
cheesedog: I like you.
VictimX_27: I don't even know how old you are.
cheesedog: I'm 27. Now....
cheesedog: I gently massage your breasts with my rough hands
cheesedog: I roll your nipples between my fingers
VictimX_27: WAIT!
cheesedog: They get hard again... what?
VictimX_27: Don't you wanna know anything about me first?
VictimX_27: Like what I like?
cheesedog: Oh yeah. Sure. Hurry up.
VictimX_27: That didn't sound convincing.
cheesedog: YES I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!
VictimX_27: Now u r being a smartass
VictimX_27: Just give me a minute
cheesedog: ok
VictimX_27: I'm back
cheesedog: np
VictimX_27: thank you
cheesedog: So what do you like?
VictimX_27: Ummmm being licked
cheesedog: Where?
VictimX_27: Everywhere
cheesedog: Any place in particular?
VictimX_27: uhhh yeah
cheesedog: tell me
VictimX_27: on my clit
cheesedog: OK!
cheesedog: NOW YOU'RE TALKIN!
VictimX_27: I also like being done from behind
cheesedog: Ooooooohhhh.
cheesedog: Ok. Check this out.
cheesedog: We're in an abandoned building.
cheesedog: No is around. Its all quiet.
VictimX_27: Uh huh
cheesedog: I gently unbutton your pants and slide my hand across your clit
cheesedog: You get all warm and juicy.
cheesedog: I slip your panties down and continue to massage your pussy
VictimX_27: oooohh mmmm
cheesedog: I place my mouth on your pussy as I eat you from behind
cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge around across your moist hole
VictimX_27: yessss
cheesedog: I cover your ears with my hands as I eat you.
cheesedog: Egon and Ray sneak in from the back.
cheesedog: *Powering up Proton packs*
VictimX_27: ???
cheesedog: Then... Egon BLASTS your pasty white ass!!
cheesedog: POW!! BZZZZZTTTTTPHTTTTTT!!!
cheesedog: Winston and Peter set up the containment trap....
VictimX_27: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!!
cheesedog: You wiggle around in the proton streams buck naked
cheesedog: The streams almost cross! Look out!!
cheesedog: Peter smacks you across the chin with his gun
cheesedog: They open the trap and it sucks your pale ass in!
VictimX_27: This isn't funny johnny!
cheesedog: SHUT UP! YOUR CAUGHT!
cheesedog: **puts you in the containment area**
cheesedog: Slimer is in there too..
VictimX_27: YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!
cheesedog: I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!
cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green, slimey cock in your pigmentless ass.
cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!**
VictimX_27: Never talk to me again!
cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one notices cause its the same color
VictimX_27: FUCK YOUUUU
cheesedog: He eats a powdered donut!
VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND FUCK YOUUUU!!!!!
cheesedog: o wait! It was your hand, you scary, white whore!
VictimX_27: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
cheesedog: Chill out, Casper. You're trapped, I said.
cheesedog: Slimer goes to lick your clit.
cheesedog: But there is already slime on your it!!
cheesedog: Slimer thinks you are a cheater and gets jealous!!
cheesedog: HE RIPS YOUR WHITE TITS OFF!
VictimX_27: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!
cheesedog: **Plays volleyball with them**
VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>

[mango]

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

[mango]

once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.
<hokage> *cries*, scary....

[mango]

FOR BTJZXAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


Spin: arrrr, pirates of the south west
Spin: thar be large pipes o'bandwith near ye'ol univarsety.
Pirate: yearg, ye may be an ta somethan thar.
Spin: what say ye we pull yonder USB hard disk longside yonder NMSU puter and begin tha lutin and plunderin.
Pirate: yearg. The master done gaved me a testin machine with a grand ol CDR.
Pirate: Avast!
Pirate: MP3s off the starboard bow!
Spin: stere clear of ye porn pop ups rollin in from tha east.
Pirate: I have mah trusty Opera browsa to help me fend em off.
Spin: encrypt the data holds, batton down thar security patches, argh thar be spyware abound.

[kkesler]

New sig?

"You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play."

:crackup:

[650 RACER]

got an email this one had be been revived.

I too nominate this as best post ever. 2 years old and still as fauking funny this time as it was the 1st time.

[kkesler]

got an email this one had be been revived.



It's silly season, so it must be revived.

[Turbotech]

Holy shit my sides hurt..................HARRRRRRRRRR...

[Paigebert]

Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....



:crackup:

[cgordon3]

This whole thread is awesome!!!!!

[kkesler]

Trick or treat, or something like that.

:D

[jigmoore]

Trick or treat, or something like that.

:D

best thread ever.

[sideways_skinny]

Damit!

I am laughing so hard I woke my wife up.

Way to go.

so im not the only one...

great stuff man. :beer:

[Hard Corps]

best thread ever.

+1meelllllllllllliiiiiiiiooooooooon

I don't know how I missed this the first time but damn that is some funny shit. I'm sitting here and everyone is looking at me crazy trying to figure out why I'm laughing and crying. Damn my stomach hurts.

:up: Kurt for reviving this!

[Chip@KWS]

:crackup:

[kkesler]

:up: Kurt for reviving this!

The Legend of the Blood Ninja never dies.

:D

[Cawk Star]

So, Chip...you got some time on your hands huh?

[650 RACER]

:crackup:


:D

Three years later and I still shed a tear laughing so hard.

[(diet)DrThunder]

It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

[Putter]

Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.

[bongoray]

Damn, I was cleaning out my e-mail box last night and I swear to god I deleted my bloodninja e-mail. Crap I had a TON of them. I haven't opened that e-mail in about 4 years and I deleted it last night then see this thread today. Grrrrrrr!

[hrvat2]

:crackup: Oh God...holding the laughter in and not alerting your coworkers is the most difficult thing to do ... f*okin' histerical :crackup: :D

[Jamesm925]

:crackup: Oh God...holding the laughter in and not alerting your coworkers is the most difficult thing to do ... f*okin' histerical :crackup: :D


LoLz!

the guy behind me had to tell me to shut up b/c i was laughing so hard, and the boss was coming down the hall..
hahaha:beer: :D :clap:

[wingsonwheels]

Trick or treat, or something like that.

:D


Thanks for brining this thread back to lfe....I needed a good laugh after this week.

[Lsean]

what site is that from? I wanna go on that chat and mess with people too.

[steeltoe]

The thing I find funny is that Chip is obviously inhaling some serious chemicals at that shop.

[Gigantic]

:crackup: holy crap. I love little people. They make me laugh!:crackup::crackup::crackup:
http://www.webwombat.com.au/entertainment/humour/images/185midget.jpg

[Lsean]

Fucking Hilarious, I just love that one, poor Albino chick, she had no idea what hit her.
:beer: :Poke: VictimX_27: Hi there!
cheesedog: I gently unbutton your pants and slide my hand across your clit
cheesedog: You get all warm and juicy.
cheesedog: I slip your panties down and continue to massage your pussy
VictimX_27: oooohh mmmm
cheesedog: I place my mouth on your pussy as I eat you from behind
cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge around across your moist hole
VictimX_27: yessss
cheesedog: I cover your ears with my hands as I eat you.
cheesedog: Egon and Ray sneak in from the back.
cheesedog: *Powering up Proton packs*
VictimX_27: ???
cheesedog: Then... Egon BLASTS your pasty white ass!!
cheesedog: POW!! BZZZZZTTTTTPHTTTTTT!!!
cheesedog: Winston and Peter set up the containment trap....
VictimX_27: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!!
cheesedog: You wiggle around in the proton streams buck naked
cheesedog: The streams almost cross! Look out!!
cheesedog: Peter smacks you across the chin with his gun
cheesedog: They open the trap and it sucks your pale ass in!
VictimX_27: This isn't funny johnny!
cheesedog: SHUT UP! YOUR CAUGHT!
cheesedog: **puts you in the containment area**
cheesedog: Slimer is in there too..
VictimX_27: YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!
cheesedog: I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!
cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green, slimey cock in your pigmentless ass.
cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!**
VictimX_27: Never talk to me again!
cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one notices cause its the same color
VictimX_27: FUCK YOUUUU
cheesedog: He eats a powdered donut!
VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND FUCK YOUUUU!!!!!
cheesedog: o wait! It was your hand, you scary, white whore!
VictimX_27: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
cheesedog: Chill out, Casper. You're trapped, I said.
cheesedog: Slimer goes to lick your clit.
cheesedog: But there is already slime on your it!!
cheesedog: Slimer thinks you are a cheater and gets jealous!!
cheesedog: HE RIPS YOUR WHITE TITS OFF!
VictimX_27: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!
cheesedog: **Plays volleyball with them**
VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>

[Jester13]

Best thread evar!!

[Cuddles de Sade]

The Legend will never die... :up:

[Cheezedawg]

Just to set the record straight, some of these chats are not "Bloodninja" at all. I wrote these years ago and posted them at fugly.com. The "HARRR" victim, the albino, the veggie girl... all complete with pictures the victims sent me. This bloodninja is just a chat victim theif who has stolen lots of my work and posted it as his own. Now he wants to release a book containing my work and claim it as his own. True. The legend of "Bloodninja" will never die. Its a shame he'll go down as a fraud. For all intents and purposes, i am the "real" bloodninja. But i still lay no claim to the lame victims done by others. Well... except that vegetable one. That one was so crappy even I really don't want the credit for it. However, I am the author. Sorry bloodninja. You've been busted.

[GixxerBlade]

Liar. Your name is cheezedawg, not Bloodninja. :D

[bdaddy]

THE finest thread in recorded history. Period.

[BiZ]

Just to set the record REALLY straight, some of these chats are not "Bloodninja" or "Cheesedoodle" at all. I wrote these years ago and posted them at fugly.com. The "HARRR" victim, the albino, the veggie girl... all complete with pictures the victims sent me. This bloodninja and Cheezefart, they are just a chat victim theif who has stolen lots of my work and posted it as is own. Now he wants to release a book containing my work and claim it as there own. True. The legend of "Bloodninja" and "Cheezebarf" will never die. Its a shame they'll go down as a fraud. For all intents and purposes, i am the "real" bloodninja. But i still lay no claim to the lame victims done by others. Well... except that vegetable one. That one was so crappy even I really don't want the credit for it. However, I am the author. Sorry bloodninja and cheezedick. You've been busted.

[Cuddles de Sade]

Just to set the record REALLY REALLY straight, some of these chats are not "Bloodninja" or "Cheesedoodle" or "BiZ" at all. I wrote these years ago and posted them at fugly.com. The "HARRR" victim, the albino, the veggie girl... all complete with pictures the victims sent me. This bloodninja, Cheezefart, Biz, they are just a chat victim theif who has stolen lots of my work and posted it as is own. Now he wants to release a book containing my work and claim it as there own. True. The legend of "Bloodninja" "Cheezebarf" & "Biz" will never die. Its a shame they'll go down as a fraud. For all intents and purposes, i am the "real" bloodninja. But i still lay no claim to the lame victims done by others. Well... except that vegetable one. That one was so crappy even I really don't want the credit for it. However, I am the author. Sorry bloodninja , cheezedick & BiZ. You've been busted.

[Charles Foxtrot]

Just to really, really really set the record straight, Cheezdawg, BiZ, and Cuddles are all my alter-ego screen names.

[Be Evil]

i got one

HardAbs05: suck me beautiful
ZimaGirl: ok you talked me into it

[Jester13]

I'm debating over whether Jackie Chiles thread or this one is better...

[HPPT]

I'm debating over whether Jackie Chiles thread or this one is better...

He ruined that thread. His ego got in the way, and he let it run way past its due date. If he had wrapped it up a month ago, it would have been one of the most beautiful threads on the Internet ever.

[Charles Foxtrot]

He ruined that thread. His ego got in the way, and he let it run way past its due date. If he had wrapped it up a month ago, it would have been one of the most beautiful threads on the Internet ever.

Dude, if Chiles had any ego problems he wouldn't have started that ruckuss in the first place. But I agree, time was his enemy.

RIP JACKIE!! :D

[Jester13]

He ruined that thread. His ego got in the way, and he let it run way past its due date. If he had wrapped it up a month ago, it would have been one of the most beautiful threads on the Internet ever.

Good point. So this one wins best thread of all time. For now... :D

[kkesler]

Boo.

[bel-biv]

incredibly difficult to pretend i'm not wasting time on the interwebs when i should be working

damn you, chip

funniest post - ever

[Sideshow]

lol Laughed my ass off.

[Jester13]

Blood ninja is back just in time!! Shit! I should have been bloodninja for Halloween...

[650 RACER]

I am growing old w/ this thread. :D

4 years and I still get an email its been revived.

Thanks Chip for the laughs.